The Giving of the Thanks


There is so much to be thankful for, and I must beg the indulgence of my international friends…and those that think Thanksgiving as a holiday is in poor taste be it for political, religious, or genocide related reasons. All I'll say is that the gang bang of holidays that go on in this, the last fiscal quarter of the year, often give me the warm fuzzies and have me looking back and reflecting on the good in my life.

And you are all a great good in my life.

(How's THAT for a dumb-ass sentence?)

In January, Life on the Swingset turns three. And when I started, it was without forethought, without game-plan, certainly devoid of structure. All I had was this idea that I wanted to “help the newbies” and that my year-in status made me somehow a veteran.

But I thought I'd teach you something. That somehow my knowledge would be the salve. Or the lube. Does that get us into a strange area?

You've taught me, though. Because of Swingset, my life has been enriched by so many people, and in so many ways. The lifestyle (and when I say that I'm referring to that SOP umbrella that the four of us like to prattle on about) is so complicated, confusing, and hard, at times. It has not always been fun, sexy, easy, worthwhile, or…um…happy making. Through it all, though, I had you. And you gave me strength, and courage.

When I doubted myself (which I'll be honest has happened a lot these last few months as the poly train really started barreling down the tracks with complete lack of regard for the “bridge out” signs we passed) I blogged about it, or tweeted about it, or facebooked about it. And you were there. For me. Concerned. Helping. Kind words. Encouragement.

How lucky I am to have you all.

The Swingset gave me two of the most important people in my life. Two women who contacted this hopeless narcissist with fan letters, and he immediately tried to con them into his inner circle by offering a guest spot on his podcast. My life has been forever enriched by having Ginger Bentham and Shira B. Katz in it. These women have helped make me the man I have become over the last couple years. (Whatever that's worth, I'll not editorialize. [Beyond that.]) My skills, as they are, as a helper (for I'll not label myself an educator), as a speaker, as a compersive (that's a thing, right?), and as a friend, have been shaped by these two.

Swingset defined my relationship with my closest friend and ally Dylan. For while we may seem combative on the show (and at clubs, and in person) we are as close as I've ever been with a friend. He is a fantastic editor, devil on my shoulder, and sounding board. I am so happy to have him with me as we see where this little show leads next.

Miko, my Site Domestic (a title which cannot come close to describing her worth) joined the Swingset this year, and immediately proved indispensable as she lifted a tremendous amount of weight off my shoulders that had been sitting there for the two years previous. She has, almost overnight, become my number two on this website, and has taken on all the tasks that made me want to blow my brains out, with a vigor and enthusiasm that I may not understand, but appreciate more than she'll ever know. (At least until I get a chance to…ahem…properly thank her.)

I'm thankful for so much else as I become a blubbering imbecile. My bloggers, my article writers, my twitter and facebook friends, those who've texted, those who've clicked our gigantic contact us button (seriously, look at it!), those who've left amazing voicemails with questions and orgasms, and those who listen and read without saying a word. You give me reason for being. When my world gets too hard, and I want to shut down, I can't…because how would I ever explain it to you? I endure. And I move on.

You make me better.

So, yes, regardless of celebrating or not any major or minor or foolish or made-up holiday over the next…say…forty-five days or so, know that I appreciate you. Know that I'm here for you.

And above all, thank you for swinging by.


PS. Does this count as Manifesto III?


About Cooper Cooper S. Beckett is the co-founder and host of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast since 2010, author of swinging & polyamory novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching The Swingularity, and memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory. He teaches and speaks on swinging, polyamory, pegging, play parties, and coloring outside the boundaries of your sexuality. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino’s radio show Sex Out Loud. He is currently working on two instructional non-fiction books, one about beginning non-monogamy, and another about pegging.


  1. I love how much you guys really love and appreciate each other. Between this post and the 100th episode I think its very clear why this podcast is so amazing. Your genuine care and affection for each other and the community is completely heart warming!

  2. Thank you, Raven. It’s amazing to us how it feels when we’re actually in the same room together. I couldn’t ask for a more amazing group of people.

  3. Swingset is only 3 years old!? WOWIE. I’m suddenly feeling quite like the little slacker. Pretty amazing what you can accomplish with some good old fashioned perseverance!

    Now…..should you ever need another girlie-fan to come guest on your podcast. You know where to find me. 😉 Maybe if Ginger or Shira ever need to go on vacation.

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