Review: Luna Beads Noir by LELO

Over the last several years, I have been doing kegel exercises daily. It started as a necessity to regain bladder control after the birth of my second child, and has remained something that is important to stave off urinary incontinence. When I heard that there was a product that would help me to exercise my pelvic floor while I go about my normal day, I knew I had to try it. But Marilyn had already done a thorough review of LELO’s Luna Beads a couple of years ago. Luckily, LELO recently introduced their newest addition to the Luna Bead line: the Luna Bead Noir. Here was a product that I would be thrilled to try.

The Luna Bead Noir is said to “fulfill your sensual fantasies” as well as help strengthen the pubic floor. I didn’t know that Ben Wa balls entered into sensual fantasies until I finished reading the Shades of Grey trilogy not long ago. There is a scene where the love interest inserted Ben Wa balls into the heroine. She seemed to really enjoy the sensation especially while being spanked.

Since these books came out Ben Wa balls have been difficult for stores to keep in stock. My guess is that women are now eager to try them out.

The Specs:

The Luna Beads Noir comes in the traditional black LELO box that shows quality and care. Inside contains the beads, a “girdle”, a black fabric carrying case and a sample of lube.

Each of the Luna Beads Noir is a sphere with a diameter of 29 mm and a weight of 37 g. This is the same size and weight as the powder blue Luna Bead minis. One of the beads (the “lead bead”) has a 3” string loop attached to make it easier to remove.

The Luna Beads Noir also comes with a silicone “girdle” to hold the beads together. The girdle is shaped like the number eight (8), with a small hole on one end. One is to feed the string on the lead bead through the small hole and situate the bead in the inside of that eight’s loop. For more weight, one can add the other bead in the other loop of the girdle.

What sets the Noir apart from the original is the sleek black color and the number of beads included; where the original set came with four beads (two 28g and two 37g), this set only comes with two of the heavier beads.

My Experience:

The first day, I inserted the lead bead without the girdle and much like a tampon; I didn’t notice it being inside of me. Even leaving it in all day was no problem, though I did pull it out to urinate as I was not interested in fishing it out of the toilet.

Since the first day seemed to go well (if by well, you mean not noticing it), I decided to try both of the beads in the girdle the next day. I was sure to follow the instructions for insertion: I lied on my back and inserted the girdle with the beads in backwards so that the lead bead is towards the opening and the string remains out. I couldn’t feel it at first, but after about half an hour my abdomen was sore and the lead bead was sliding out of me.

Hrmm.. I am not sure what I was expecting, but this was not it. I was sure after reading that Shades of Grey book and Marilyn’s review that I would walk around in a happy, horny state. Perhaps, I thought, I was doing something wrong. So I googled and I read the instruction manual again. I realized something very important: I am neither as young as either the heroine or Marilyn nor had either of them given birth. So perhaps I just needed more exercise.

And exercise was exactly what was going on. My PC muscle was working hard on its own to keep those beads inside of me. The abdominal soreness was the same as the soreness that one gets from a hard workout.

I have spent a couple of weeks now wearing the two Luna Beads Noir. I have noticed that every day they have stayed in longer before beginning to slip out (I am at 4-6 hours).

On occasion I can feel them shifting inside when I move. I enjoyed jumping up and down with them in and feeling the shifting weights.

Does having the beads in make me horny? Well, most people would tell you that I am ALWAYS horny. Have they made my orgasms stronger? I have no idea. But I do know that my bladder control is much better; I am not nearly as afraid of sneezing as I was last month.

I wish that I had started using the Luna Bead Noir (or the original Luna Beads) years ago. LELO has come up with a great product for letting one’s body do the kegel exercises without conscious effort.

Full Disclosure: We did not purchase this product, it was sent to us specifically for review. Our policy is to, regardless of how we acquired a product, review it fairly and openly. No writer for Life On The Swingset will ever deliberately mislead our readers into believing that a product is good because of anything we received from the company. We are open and honest, and cannot be bought or bribed. If we love a product, we'll tell you, if we don't, BELIEVE us, we'll tell you that too. End disclaimer.