Swinging in Paradise: Desire Recap – Part 3


Read part 1 here. Read part 2 here.

In the afterglow of Friday afternoon’s sexytimes with Will, I spent a little time packing and getting things organized. Our airport shuttle was arriving exceedingly early in the morning and that ‘final night’ mentality was kicking in hard. How on earth was I going to go back to real life after this?

We had a dinner date planned with Raina & Wes but were delightfully surprised when Mal and Peach were the other two sitting at the 6-person teppanyaki bar with us. After dinner, Raina, Wes, Flick, and I went back to our room for some sexy fun. Raina and I brought out our electronics (magic wand and eroscillator, respectively), and with all the delightful combinations four bodies can create, we all had some awesome orgasms. Blissed-out in the afterglow on the king-sized bed, we took one of my favourite photos of the trip, the four of us holding hands, Desire bracelets on display.

Swinging on Paradise: Desire Recap Part 3

Eventually, we split up to get ready for the after-dinner activities. I put on my Slave Leia costume, even though it was not at all relevant to that night’s theme (sexy circus, I think). Truthfully, that outfit is always ‘on theme’, and that was confirmed when a Swingsetter fanboy-shrieked “Princess Leia” when he saw me in the outdoor bar. Some tropical rain shut down the band early, but Will and I took advantage and made out in the rain, enjoying rain-slick skin and lips as others dodged for cover.

After busting some badass hip hop moves in the disco (if you’ve never seen a former ballerina get all down & dirty dressed in the gold Leia bikini, you’re missing out), we headed to the hot tub for our final night of fun and sexy conversation. I was loathe to leave the awesome group chats as the night transitioned further and further into morning, and my sensible brain was telling me I needed to get some sleep that night. As JV & Shara said goodnight, I managed to get a hug sandwiched between Cooper and JV, which is an experience I’d recommend to all.

Reality kicked in around 4am, and Flick and I reluctantly exited the tub and began our goodnights/goodbyes. Hugs with Elle evolved into shoulder shimmies with our naked breasts touching, which makes me giggle every time I think about it, and is a trip highlight for sure. I saw that she and Will were heading off to have an orgy with their, and now our, sexy friends, and although I felt the tiniest ping of jealousy, I was mostly just happy for them. I felt secure and happy and wanted them to have an awesome last night.

After some bad-idea pizza in the lobby bar, we got our bags packed and ready, knowing every passing minute was taking away from desperately needed sleep. My super-organization from the trip down was changed to just stuffing clothing, condoms, and dildos as best they’d fit into bags and hoping for the best.

The morning was rough; 3 hours sleep and we staggered down to eat breakfast and grab desperately needed coffee. Our exhausted hearts were warmed to find many Swingsetters whose flights left much later than ours, sleepy-faced and waiting in the lobby bar to say their goodbyes. Countless hugs and kisses and promises of visits were exchanged, exhausted selfies were taken, tears were shed, and then Flick, Elle, Will, and I were loaded into a shuttle to do the heartbreaking drive back to the airport, more teary farewells, and reality. I totally didn’t weep on Will’s shoulder the whole way.

So that was our first trip to Desire, a truly life changing holiday, and providing the Canadian dollar doesn’t plummet any further, we’ll be there again this coming November as the Swingset takes over, with some experience under our belts, and a little more understanding of ourselves and our relationship.

Lessons I learned:

  1. If a play party isn’t feeling right to you, grab a sexy friend or three (or more) and go off to do your own thing. It wasn’t until I was home that I realized that instead of chatting with Mal and Flick about our discomfort at the play party, we should have gone off to an empty bed and had our own. *headdesk*
  2. You’re not being paranoid by packing all the stomach meds. Bring them all!!
  3. Pack some sleeping pills too. All-day adrenalin and endorphins does not make for good rest.
  4. Ask for what you want. When we spoke about our wants and fantasies out loud, they tended to happen. Speaking of, a big fantasy I have for this year is a gangbang with trusted partners, both with guys, and gals wearing strap-ons.
  5. Make firm plans with people you’re interested in. It’s good to leave space and flexibility in your schedule, but if you don’t make firm plans, there’s a good chance the week will run out before you’ve done what/who you want.
  6. Talk to others about their experience. A fair amount of my jealousy came from making some big assumptions about the awesome time others were having getting all their needs met, and it wasn’t always the case.
  7. Talk about your jealousy and other icky feelings with your partners. That shit festers in the dark. Admitting my jealous feelings to Flick and to Will meant we could share together and feel less alone. Turned out they were having similar feelings and we all felt better talking about it.

The worst thing you could ever imagine happening during sex can happen, and you won’t actually die (I suppose, unless THAT is the worst thing you can imagine happening). I’m going to leave that one up to your imaginations. Maybe some day after a few shots of tequila, I’ll tell the full, humiliating story.


Kat (she/they) is a sex-positive, geeky, Canadian, pansexual, deviant, slutty, feminist pervert who came to ethical non-monogamy 21-years into her relationship with her husband. After a quick toe-dip to test the waters (and hours of obsessive reading and podcast consumption), they dove in and they almost can't imagine they ever lived any other way. Labels never give a totally clear picture, but they consider themselves non-monogamous and polyamorous, though they occasionally swing. She's also a podcaster - On The Wet Coast Podast - and audiobook narrator for Cooper S Beckett's novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching the Swingularity. onthewetcoast.com @WetcoastKat on Twitter. Their first book - Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut - is available on Amazon.com, Amazon.ca, Inkterra, and Kobo.


  1. Kat: I feel your pain. The wife and I went down to the Desert Sun Resort last weekend for a quick naked holiday and although the weather was great we got killed on the exchange. Your Desire trip sounds like a great adventure. If only I could convince my wife to go.

    Keep up the writing.


  2. Thanks, Bill. I appreciate the comment and commiseration about awful exchange rate. I hope you and your wife make it to Desire sometime. It is definitely something special.

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