Ebbs and Flows – Deciding the Priority of the Swinging Lifestyle


Ebbs & Flows - Deciding the Priority of the Swinging LifestyleSince we began our swinging adventures I have had a hard time figuring out how to fit this into my already relatively full life. At the very beginning, a few months back, we had dates every weekend sometimes two. Being newer to the lifestyle, they didn’t necessarily lead to actual swinging, but they still took time. Time that I would have normally spent doing something else.

Now the pendulum has swung back hard in the other direction. Anne and I try to have one swing date every two or three weeks. Lately we haven’t had any at all, but to be fair we just bought our first home which took up a considerable amount of time during the past several months. I am not sure if either is better or worse, but it is interesting for us trying to feel out exactly how big of a part of our life we want this to be.

Do we want it to be a major part of our lives and something that happens every weekend? Do we want to mainly ignore it until the wanderlust hits us and we just need to do it? Most likely it is probably somewhere in the middle of those two options. I suspect the pendulum is on its way back towards more often. Maybe someday that pendulum will slow and stop in the perfect place for us. Maybe not. It really doesn’t matter as long as we do what is right for us.

The desire and opportunities to swing will probably ebb and flow as time passes. This is fine and it is something Anne and I have talked about. We always try make sure we are on the same page. Communication was never really an issue between us, but swinging has improved it. Swinging certainly reignited our passions and love for each other. The slowdown could be attributed to that. We really are having a good time just enjoying each other. It is almost like when we first dated, but better. The same passion and heat is there, but there is also the commitment, trust, and love that has been built over the years.

There are people who ask us for dates and something I am struggling to grasp is how to say, “We really like you guys, the chemistry between us, and the sex, but we aren’t in the mood for swinging this weekend?” I suppose I could just say it but the other couple would likely take it as us just trying to let them down gently, which is not at all what it is. I just don’t know.


An average suburbanite barely into his 30s, Jack has recently begun a more exciting secret sexy life with his wife, Anne. These experiences have led him to preach the gospel of sex positivity and safer sex to anyone who will listen.

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