“Can I have your Mom’s phone number?,” is a question that should never, under any circumstances, be uttered at a swinger party.
As a part of my costume for a Halloween party I drew up a poster of swinger urban legends. One of the legends, I included was the idea of key parties.
For those unfamiliar with the concept, the popular notion of the key party is an adult party where the men throw their car keys into a bowl. At the end of the night the wives pick a random set of keys from the bowl, and proceed to go home with whichever man they belong to. This depiction of key parties has popped up in movies, television and books and, is some peoples’ sole concept of swingers.
Key Parties have fascinated me since I can remember. I have asked crowds of people of all different age ranges and walks of life about them. To this day, I have not found a single person who had been to one or knew someone who had. I had long written them off as more fiction than fact.
Well, later at this party, a hot young couple approached me and proceeded to tell me that there was a problem with my poster. They insisted that key parties were not an urban legend but were in fact, real.
Perplexed, I inquired: “How can you be so sure? Do you know somebody who has been to one?”
The guy replied “Yes, my parents.” He went on to explain he had heard it from several sources that his parents used to attend actual key parties on a regular basis.
(We’ve all been to a party or gathering where someone slips up and make some weird comment or faux pas that suddenly derails the party’s vibe…. I was about to be that person)
Astonished, I responded “Oh WOW! Can I have your mom's phone number?” (insert the sound of a needle scratching over a record.)
As I stated earlier, key parties have always fascinated me in one way or another. Over time, my fascination has changed. When I was younger the idea seemed hot like any idea where you get see boobies seems hot. But now that my wife and I have been part of the lifestyle for a good number of years, I am curious of them from a different maybe, more practical perspective.
First there are the logistics, if these parties actually occurred, how did they work? I guess there were no singles. Did everyone leave at a preset time? I mean it's hard enough for husband-and-wife to agree on a time to leave a party. Then where do they go, to whose house? But what about if there are babysitters and kids to deal with? That could be a really awkward breakfast the next morning. Then when do you decide to swap back? And who drives who back? The logistics of a real key party can make your mind just spin.
All of the logistical problems aside, there's a still a part of me that is really drawn to the idea. I suppose it's a poly inclination in me that's allured by the idea of being paired with a random willing woman for an extended timeframe. It's sorta like, “it's going to be just you and me for a bit let's make this work.” Like two shipwrecked individuals on a deserted island except, there are nice linens and a fully stocked fridge. There's something very appealing to that idea.
Did they really happen? How did they work? I still don’t know. I never got the phone number…
