Review: Lover’s Choice Get Naked Dice

Sexy dice seem to be this rite of passage. In high school, almost everybody I knew got a pair at some point from the local Spencer's gifts store when they thought their might be potential for sexy time in their life. Often that potential was the merest grasping at straws and represented no ACTUAL potential, but the excitement level was high in those days, as was the feeling of perhaps needing to break the ice, of to be able to attribute your actions to the dice.

“Lick. Crotch.”

“better do what the dice say….they have eerie powers.”

And just an aside here, but could they have picked a less sexy word for genitals?  Give me the cold clinical nature of that word any day over fucking CROTCH. Luckily the Lover's Choice Get Naked Dice have eliminated the word crotch, but have replaced it with the very meh “Below Waist”

So, dice have a long and sordid history, obviously. Having a pair in the house is a good idea, especially if you get that nervous newbie couple who longs to be able to blame the dice for their debauchery.

The Lover's Choice Get Naked Dice are larger than most, and metal. This certainly makes them sturdier than the old Spencer's Gifts pink sexy dice, and gotta admit that the brushed aluminum makes em even sexier. So I'll give kudos for both of those things.

Ah, but here's the rub. They're made of metal, and have rather pointed corners, and are larger than real dice.  So, let's say you're in a play situation, the dice do their jobs and you get to the fucking (is that even an option the dice support? There is no crotch crotch roll available). The dice get forgotten and rolled onto the floor, or into a far away crevice of the bed and you wind up with a very painful surprise on rolling over, or an even more shockingly painful wakeup call when you're heading to the restroom later.

So, I support sexy dice as an ice breaker, and as dice go, these are the Cadillac of sexy dice, but watch for sharp corners.

You know, that's good advice even when not talking about dice…

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