SS 368: Gangbang the Mailbag 40: More Action with Bex and Kevin

Bex Caputo and Kevin Patterson join Dylan and Ginger on the Swingset to give perspectives on some listener questions. From sharing you are polyamorous with your partner for the first time, to thoughts for an adventurous “unicorn,” to navigating group sex, these listeners asked and the Swingset answered.

And buy Kevin's fantastic new book, “For Hire: Audition.”

Question 1:

Lately I've come to terms with the fact that I identify as Bi-curious and polyamorous. I have also been in a monogamous relationship with my current partner and wife of 8 years. I've brought up that the fact that I'm interested in opening up our relationship, something she was at first intrigued by but now is very opposed to the idea.

She doesn't really understand how I can have feelings of love and attraction towards other people and still love and be attracted to her. Every time I bring it up she expresses that she feels hurt and is confused why, in her words, she is “not good enough”.

I've yet find a way to explain it in a way she can really understand my perspective. We honestly have a pretty decent relationship, pretty solid communication and a strong connection. At the same time I know in my heart that monogamy is not for me.

I love her and I really don't want to end it and at the same time I want the freedom to love, play with and experience other people. I also don't want to pressure her into doing something she really doesn't want to do. I apologize for the overshare but I'm just wondering if you have any suggestions or have run into this problem before?

Question 2:

I have a glorious opportunity to really explore my sensuality and expand my sexuality and. . . I don't know where to start.

At the end of 2018 My husband ended our 12 year marriage by finding another woman and fucking her behind my back. All he wanted was the typical cis straight male fantasy: FMF threesome but didn't want to go anywhere to find her.

Here's what I'm looking for- I really desire to explore my sexuality with men and maybe even women in a safe, open environment. Plus I really, really want sex again- it's been 4 freaking months already! I shy away from one night stands or just a quick wham bam. I'm definitely looking for more connection like progressive swinging but not ready for love at all yet.

I'm so confused (and scared to be honest). Do I:
Try swinging for the first time as a unicorn?
Try to find a best friend with benefits?
Go to a swingers club? Try a swinging site?
Just get on Tinder and hope for the best?

How do I keep myself safe as a single woman whether swinging or looking for sex?

Question 3:

My sexy wife and I really enjoy watching group sex/orgies at the club we go to and we are ready to take the next step. How in the world do we approach a group of undulating bodies to have sex with them. We are finally feeling confident enough, but have no idea what to do. Help us get in there!

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