When do you open up to people that you date in the vanilla world, if ever?
I have recently started dating the good old fashioned way…the vanilla online dating sites! I have several freinds that have met their significant others this way. The funny thing is that these friends, seemingly vanilla on the outside, are really hard-core lifestylers! They met the girl or guy online…hit it off…started dating…opened up about their lifestyle and the partner is really into it! How the fuck does that happen? So I asked. “Oh, I just brought it up one day and we started talking about it and she/he decided they would give it a try.”
Now these couples, who started as vanilla couples, are now lifestyle couples and are happy and in love and get to fuck the people of their choosing. It's just not fair!
I met a few great guys on the vanilla sites. Great, great, great first dates. No sex, just great conversation and drinks. Second dates are usually pretty good too…but then I get comfortable with them and bring up the notion of swinging. While these guys initially seem to be “into it” and want to know more, they usually end up sending me a note on facebook or via text that they “can't do this.” “I don't agree with your lifestyle and I can't watch another man fuck my girl.” This has happened a couple of times. My lifestyle friends say: “Oh, it's just a matter of time, honey.” Fuck that. It wasn't a matter of time for YOU, what's wrong with me?
I even met a vanilla guy that couldn't get enough of me and I couldn't get enough of him. We spent almost every day together for 2 straight weeks. On our first date, I got the courage to tell him about my swinging, after discussing the downfalls in each of our marriages (crappy sex lives). It turned out he was a swinger and we had many of the same friends. We decided to hold off on having sex, because it was kinda fun to wait. Suddenly, he disappears of the radar. After two weeks, he finally responded to me. He had met someone else. (wait for it…) She is a staunchly vanilla girl that he has now pulled over to our team! He got her to swing with him! And we were at the same party this past weekend. She's really nice and I wanted to be cordial. But I also wanted to slap her. Especially when she told me that they were getting married in April.
Fuck me running!
I can't catch a break!
