Author: Kat Stark

My Nipples Hate You It’s not personal. They hate everyone. They know that you want to touch them, to play with them, to lick and suck them, and you’re not going to do it right. And if you do it right one time, in one moment, you’re immediately going to forget and go back to how you touch everyone else’s nipples, and it’s going to feel really BAD and they’re going to hate you again. My breasts and I have a long and complicated history. I developed earlier than many of my friends in elementary school and by age 12…

Now This is a butt plug! I was a big fan of the Novice plug by b-Vibe but it was definitely on the small side, even for someone who can’t take a whole lot of girth in the anal department. When I got the opportunity to try out the Trio by the same company, I found myself in the perfect Goldilocks moment. This plug is Just Right. Much like the smaller version, it comes in great packaging and its own storage/carry case for remote, plug, charging cord, instructions etc. It’s rechargeable using the magnetic charge cord that works with all…

Endings Suck. Regardless of whether you’re the one that wanted or needed things to change in a relationship, or the person who is being (or at least feeling like they’re being) dumped, it sucks when things end. There’s a mourning process for everyone involved over what you thought the relationship was going to be, even when you know that the changes being made are in everyone’s best interest. Sometimes love can get in the way of ending or transitioning a relationship that isn’t serving the people in it. Since our society holds love for others on high as the most…

Flashback post! I was reading through a bunch of old blog posts and came across something I wrote after our first swinger date approximately two and a half years ago. Amazing how things have and haven’t changed in that time. Enjoy some classic Kat. After looking at profiles for weeks and never acting on them, I finally took the plunge and decided to flirt with a cute local couple on Kasidie, a swinger dating site. Crazily enough, I heard back immediately with a reciprocal flirt and an invitation to look at their private (extremely HOT and way dirtier than I…

I had a great first sexydate with a new Friend With Benefits (FWB) this week and one of the best things about it was the lack of assumptions as to what was on the table for the evening. After some wine and casual catching up conversation, it was time to figure out how to transition to getting naked. We’re both a little shy and though we were touching, it wasn’t progressing into more intimate touch, so I was about to use one of my go-to moves and either pounce on him or start taking off my clothes when he mentioned…

I am a slut. I have pretty strong feelings when I type that sentence or say it aloud. Sometimes, and for the most part, I feel super strong and fun and sexy when I say it. Fuck, yeah, I’m a slut! Other times I say it with a question since I’m not always as sexually promiscuous as the word might imply. Yet other times there’s a sense of shame and angst that come with a word I was raised to believe was all kinds of negative. Flick was just designing business cards for us for our podcast and website and…

This was a hard week. Possibly the hardest I’ve had in quite a while that wasn’t a depressive episode. It was also a really good week because it reminded me that I’m resilient and can endure but it also emphasized that I need people much more than this introvert sometimes thinks she does. My husband Flick & our girlfriend Iris went on their first holiday together; the first time one of us has travelled with another partner. I’ve gone for a few long weekends to visit Will in Chicago and met up with him once in Portland but this was…

Can I learn to do that? That question, or the variation Can my wife/girlfriend learn to do that?, is a frequent one when people who haven’t experienced sex with a squirter before or seen it happen outside porn. There’s a good chance the answer to this question is yes, though not necessarily. It is likely just a case of stimulating the right tissues the right way, but all our anatomy varies slightly, so it may not happen for every person with a vagina. It doesn’t mean your vag (or your partner’s) is flawed because it doesn’t squirt. Your vag is…

I love going to play parties and getting my sexy on in a semi-public space. At events where I don’t know people, or don’t know them well, I almost always stick with my current partners for playtime. I love to get down and dirty with those I know and have an established connection with and enjoy the sexy vibe of all the others surrounding us, but I very rarely step forward to play with new people. On my most recent trip to see Will and Elle in Chicago, I decided to break through that self-imposed barrier and I played with…

The fragrance hit me as I lay snuggled in close to Flick’s bare chest. I’d had a hard couple days feeling exceptionally lonely and isolated and I was recharging in my happy place–cuddled up in bed with my sweetie. Except that happy place wasn’t comforting the way it normally was. It didn’t smell like him. It smelled like her. And it felt really bad. It’s not like I hadn’t known they were together. Flick & Iris have a weekly date night and I have no problem with it. In fact, I’m really happy about it. Their relationship is a source…