Author: Kat Stark

Non-monogamy is full of weirdos. I mean this in the best way since I’d classify all my nearest and dearest, and myself, under that umbrella. It seems that people who are drawn to non-traditional lifestyles like kink and open sexuality tend to be those who haven’t necessarily fit into all the typical boxes in their live and have spent a lot of time looking for the ‘other’ where they belong. I can’t overstate the value of finally finding your fellow misfit toys and clicking with a crew who feel like your people. In high school, many of us had community…

There’s a monthly sex-positive play party event we’ve been to that takes place in the local steam baths. I’d heard about it from a partner as well as another friend and was intrigued that it sounded much more interesting, queer friendly, body positive, and inclusive than any of the Swinger events we’ve attended around town. After a few months of timing conflicts, we were able to grab tickets and attend. We had a very big moment of panic shortly after purchasing when we discovered that a couple of people we knew from vanilla life were attending and posting in the…

“You’re going to be a terrible wife.” I was 20 years old and I took my grandmother’s response to my refusal to make my male friend a sandwich since he was capable of doing it himself as a huge compliment. She’d been what amounted to my grandfather’s servant throughout their marriage and I had no interest in anything of that sort. What I didn’t shake off was the expectation of emotional servitude until another 20 years had passed. One of the toughest things I ever do is expressing my needs and believing I deserve to have them met. The more…

Ooh, sex with strangers–or at least with new people–this is going to be awesome! Oh Zod! They’re going to see me naked! But Kat, you say, you’re a tart and an exhibitionist. You’ve been to Desire Resort and Spa. You hung out naked there most of the time! Trust me. It wasn’t an easy obstacle to overcome. Insecurities with body image were probably the first big roadblock my brain put up when we seriously considered opening our relationship and having sex with other people. I have always had a challenging relationship with my body, having developed earlier than other girls…

I was very excited to receive the b-vibe Novice plug after hearing so many things about this new, innovative company. I am very excited about their Rimming Plug as well and definitely hope to get to try it soon. The packaging was top notch in the ‘I’m opening something very special’ department and it’s cool that it comes in its own zippered case to keep the components together. The toy itself is a lovely, silky silicone, so water-based lubes are a must, and it surprisingly flexible for a vibrating plug. It’s splash-proof and easily washable but not submersible, and charges…

Sometimes a relationship doesn’t work the way you think it will. Sometimes you go into something expecting it to look and feel a certain way, travel a certain path, and as you go, it turns out that is not what you (or the other person(s)) wanted after all. When that takes place in a monogamous partnership, it usually means the end of the relationship, or an awkward ‘let’s stay friends’ that may or may not ever take place. When it’s not the only relationship and it works for all parties, a transition to a different style or intensity can take…

Her tits smacked me repeatedly in the face as she rode me and I had no idea that it was something I’d be into but oh yeah, I was loving it. Just one more thing to add to my ‘Who knew?’ list of sexual Hell Yeses. When we eventually collapsed together, the hands of multiple women continued to stroke us, and I felt several other bodies press in beside us on the bed. Oh, the lady pile. Such a delightful place to be with the silky skin, curving hips, breasts ranging from shy buds to the bounteous beauties I’d just…

I’m back from an incredible week in paradise at Desire Resort & Spa Riviera Maya with Life On The Swingset* and although I’m deep in the drop that happens following an intense, transformative experience, I thought I’d share some thoughts on what I learned this year. 1) Reject The Tyranny of the Or I don’t have to be a top OR a bottom. I can be both. My main resistance to topping up to now has been a fear that if I did it, that’s all I’d ever get to do going forward. After some great discussions with multiple Swingsetters…

Flick & I recently celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary and couldn’t think of a better way to fete the occasion than by throwing a play party. It was our first time hosting such an event, though we had some spillover experience from my birthday Ladybang though it was our girlfriend Iris who did the heavy lifting for that event. We invited five of our friends and partners and got set for some sexy anniversary shenanigans – a Shenanniversary, as you will. I was incredibly nervous about the event since we hadn’t done one of these before and I wasn’t sure…

I’m a Strap-on Queen. Once I discovered getting to be the penetrator during sex, I fell in love with the experience. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being the penetratee as well, but I took to strap-on fucking very quickly and enthusiastically. Since I talk about it so much, I’ve had a lot of questions from readers asking about strap-ons. And although I’m mostly just an enthusiastic amateur, I’ve had a fair amount of experience using them and thought I’d walk through some of the basics for people who are looking to get strapped for the first time or those…