Author: Ms. Scarlet

I recently read on a swinger forum a question by a newbie asking what advice people could give. They gave pretty standard advice: Go slow, followed by people saying don’t go too slow or you’ll never actually try it and just overthink it and end up as picture collectors getting off on the idea but not the actuality of being a swinger. Go to house parties and sex clubs, followed by people saying that is a terrible idea and that really you ought to try to meet people online and focus on those who like to mentor newbies. Establish clear…

It’s our one year anniversary. So I can safely say that Mr. Scarlet and I are no longer newbies. We made it past the red pill/blue pill decision and decided to go full bore with the red pill realization that monogamy is bullshit (shout out to Mr. Horse for the analogy). We made it through the swinger “moment of truth” with our awesome sires the Wolves and we know full well that there really is no turning back to monogamy. We have made it through trips to clubs, house parties, hotel takeovers, pissing each other off, learning to communicate better,…

I guess you could call me an agnostic. I am pretty ambivalent about the idea of God or for that matter the afterlife. I’d like to believe and have faith and all that jazz. But it’s not that easy to set aside skepticism and the need for indisputable evidence. I guess I’m not really consistent since on the other hand, I do believe in Fate as well angels. By angel I do not mean winged creatures all in white with halos and playing little harps. That is for little kid Sunday school classes. What I mean by angels are people…

My resolution to just concentrate on my poly relationships and not swinging didn’t even last until the post on that was published. I am not going to let one crappy experience scare me away or let one asshole ruin good times for me. I think I am now better prepared to deal with such things. Unfortunately, there are probably future crap and assholes still to be met. But I also know that there are a lot more awesome experiences and great people to meet. Anyway, this past weekend we travelled a good distance and went to a hotel party with…

I have decided to elaborate on the part of my last post that related to oxytocin. It appears that some people have no idea what I was talking about. My girlfriend seemed to think I was talking about that drug that Rush Limbaugh was addicted to. That is OxyContin, a man made narcotic pain reliever, not oxytocin, an amazing molecule naturally in all of us. However, I do understand the confusion due to the similar spelling. So the first thing to know about oxytocin is that it is a hormone. You know hormones, they run around in your blood stream…

I have been having an internal debate on hanging up my hat on swinging, or my club wear as the case may be. At this point, I’m questioning if the good outweighs the bad. The first thing bad thing has been to confuse the high from oxytocin from NSA sex with something real and to get fooled. It really sucks to have someone tell you that they love you and paint a great picture of the future to the point that you make career decisions, consider moving closer, and even introduce the kids. And then for them to turn around…

Last night, we took the Foxes to our favorite swing club. We gave them a brief tour and went over the more unique rules of this particular club. Mrs. Fox and I changed out of our street clothes and into some things a little more, ahem, appropriate. We made some mixed drinks and then she and I got down on the club’s dance floor for a while. I can move pretty sexily on the dance floor if I do say so myself. I have a lot of sexy moves from years of Latin Dancing as well as from some recent…

There is a certain irony in that few days after my last blog post on Tandem Dating, that everything went to hell with the Bears. I don’t really want to go into the details. There are people who know me and who know the Bears and there is no need to air dirty laundry publically. Let’s just say there is enough responsibility, pain, and unhappiness to go all around for the situation. So what to talk about? I guess I will provide some advice on Tandem Dating and breaking up. I am still a believer in polyamory and swinging despite…

My loved ones know I write this blog and sometimes they read it. Sometimes they disagree and have been known to call me out on it, especially Mr. Scarlet who never pulls any punches. Sometimes they misinterpret what I mean. Sometimes I say things without fully realizing the implications from someone else’s perspective. I mean I do that in real life too but it’s different when it’s in print out on the web. My recent post saying the Foxes were an “ambiguous and undefined recurring relationship” hurt their feelings and left them thinking they were at a lower level in…

For me, an important part of non-monogamy whether it is swinging or polyamory is the general sex positive attitude of a lot of people. First of all, it is generally refreshing. Second, I think that the typical western Christian view of sex as evil or depraved or just a necessary step for procreation is completely dysfunctional. For those of you not familiar with the sex positive movement, suffice to say that it is a belief that sex is a potentially positive force in one’s life, that celebrates diversity, and that has few limits beyond informed consent. I’m still working on…