Author: Ms. Scarlet

I work in marketing. So I would like to take a moment to write about what I feel may be the worst marketed sex product ever. I am speaking about FC2, aka the female condom. You could consider this a review but really it is a criticism of the terrible marketing job that has been done on this product. I am probably wading into the great swinger condom war, but the fact that this is not the condom of choice for swingers who use them is baffling and due to the hack marketing job that’s been done. In marketing there…

As Valentine’s Day will soon be upon us, I have decided to wax philosophically on the topic of love. As I enter the sixth month of non-monogamy it is clear that things can be quite messy. Perhaps, I will eventually write an update on the details of my messy relationships but for the nickel tour suffice to say I have had some good NSA one off swings, a few crappy ones, found some swinger friends with benefits who we seem likely to play with again, have one ambiguous and undefined recurring relationship (I will call them the Foxes), and one…

How to start this blog post? I feel like I ought to close the chapter on Old Flame that I started in the three part series on why we got into swinging. I learned about Life On The Swingset in my research after starting to talk to Old Flame and before I brought the topic of an open relationship up with Mr. Scarlet. Old Flame had brought up some point or other about kreplits.  I was like, “what the fuck is a kreplit?” Off to Urban Dictionary to get a basic definition. Googling kreplit brings up the Life On the…

A forum on a swinger dating board that I frequent recently had a question as to what the couple kept back to be special just for them. The most common answers seemed to be along the lines of kissing and anal sex. Personally, I have a rule on passing on no kissing couples. To those who think it is too intimate, I say, that is the point. I generally also disagree with those who want no emotional involvement at all and say it is too intense and risky to their primary relationship. I look at them as just wanting a…

As mentioned previously, I am taking a class on Behavioral Economics. The key point is that humans are not rational decision makers. This is true in economic decisions and I believe it is also true in swinging situations and relationships in general. A major problem that I have in swinging is Choice Overload, i.e. what happens when people are overwhelmed with too many options. According to economic theory there are four typical outcomes that happen: Defer/not participate.  Obviously in the swinging context, if the goal is to get with people then this is not a particularly positive option. But this…

***I feel like I should preface this by saying that Mr. Scarlet and I have worked through our issues several months ago, learned from it, and moved on, if not to relationship nirvana, then at least to a much healthier place.  *** So if you have been keeping up in Part 1 and Part 2 you will know that I got married young, lost my libido for around a decade, Mr. Scarlet started traveling and it came back, and then I started a virtual fling with an old flame from high school in an open relationship which got me to…

After three and a half months in the lifestyle, I have some random thoughts that are too short for their own independent blog posts. So since it is that time of year when people summarize the year or post the Top 10 whatever of the year, I thought I’d compile them together for a not quite year in review. 1)     Rules are going to get broken. Have rules anyway. We’re still working on this of course. One girl I know says that rules always get broken so they don’t have any beyond, “Don’t Ask, Do Tell.” I’m not up for…

To recap Part 1. I was very promiscuous, got married young, got knocked up fast, completely lost my libido, gained a lot of weight (like 70 pounds), was pretty depressed, bitchy, and unhappy. Mr. Scarlet was lucky to get laid once a week though sometimes only once a month, was putting up with me, and unsurprisingly also often unhappy. See, when I say that I lost my libido I mean it. It wasn’t just that I wasn’t interested in and was bored with sex with Mr. Scarlet. I literally had no interest in sex at all. With anyone. For years.…

Almost without fail one of the first questions that someone asks me when at a swinger event is something along the lines of “Why did you get involved with swinging?” It’s a long story likely to take up more than one blog post so bare with me. But before I get to the story, I have been wondering why the prevalence of the question. Is it just small talk? Is it like the question, “What do you do?” which is used to determine your status and pigeon hole you? Will variations on the truth lead to different results? When asked…

For a long time Mr. Scarlet thought I was a permanent student and never was going to get a real job. I have one now but which sucks so I was greatly excited to learn about MOOC’s (Massive Online Open Courses). I get to study for FREE what actually interests me as opposed to just jumping through a hoop a school says I need. Right now I am taking Behavioral Economics which has a lot of applicability to swinging and relationships, even if that is not necessarily obvious at first glance. One major problem with swinging was alluded to by…