Author: Multiamory

Long-term relationships can be fertile ground for wonderful things like deep bonding and silly in-jokes. But they can also come with their fair share of old hurts, repetetive arguments, and growing resentment. If you find your partner holding the past against you, feeling hurt and upset even after you’ve apologized for something in the past, or if you find yourself resenting your partner in the present for old hurts in the past, then there may be some unhealed wounds in your relationship. In this episode, we cover strategies for both partners to support each other in a journey of healing…

Our favorite God-doctor Gary Chapman, creator of the 5 Love Languages, has come up with another useful tool for communication: the 5 Apology Languages. Have you ever apologized to your partner for a mistake in the past, only to find that your partner brings it up again a week later, expressing frustration that you never really said you were sorry? What the hell? Was your partner not listening? It’s possible that you and your partner have different apology languages. What felt like a genuine apology to you may have not landed at all with your partner. Tune in to find…

The Multiamory crew is thrilled to speak with lawyer Diana Adams, who runs a law firm based in New York and Frankfurt that primarily provides family law and mediation services to the LGBTQ community, polyamorous families, same-sex couples, platonic co-parents, and non-nuclear families. In this episode, we got so much helpful information from Diana, including the many kinds of legal agreements available to polyamorous families, actionable steps poly families and parents can take right now to start protecting themselves, and her predictions for how poly marriage rights and poly parenting rights may be changing on the horizon. You can find…

A long list of “glass ceiling questions” has been floating around the polyamorous internet lately. These are questions that are essential to ask a new partner in order to get down to brass tacks on what kind of agreements or rules they have in their other relationships, what they are expecting for their relationship with you, and other nuts-and-bolts questions. In the spirit of efficiency, Multiamory has condensed these questions down to 6 topics to ask about when starting a new relationship. Even better, we made it easy to remember. Just take your date to the M.O.V.I.E.S.! Tune in to…

The Ethical Slut, long considered to be the “Bible” of polyamory and alternative relationships, is celebrating its 20th anniversary with a new, updated edition! The book had an incredible impact on each of our lives, and we are so excited to be speaking to co-author and educator Janet Hardy. Janet shares with us what’s new in the updated edition, what she sees for the future of non-monogamous relationships, and her one piece of advice for anyone considering polyamory. You can order the 20th anniversary edition of The Ethical Slut on Amazon. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our…

The dumpster fire relationship: you know it when you see it. Constant fights, endless drama, and an unmatched level of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion. In this episode, we’ll discuss signs that your relationship might be a total dumpster fire, how to evaluate whether or not it’s time to leave, plus practical advice on escaping a draining relationship with minimal collateral damage. You can order Dedeker’s book, The Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know about Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love by clicking here. This week’s sponsor is Quip. If you want to give one of their electric…

This week we’re digging in to emotional labor — the mental and emotional energy required to maintain a relationship. All interpersonal relationships require some sort of emotional labor, so it’s not a bad thing. However, problems arise when one person is giving more emotional labor than they are receiving from the other side. This disproportionately tends to happen to women, but it can occur regardless of sex or gender. Tune in to find out the subtle ways that emotional labor can stack, and how to evaluate your relationships for emotional labor balance or imbalance. If you want to support our…

This week we are talking about…you! That’s right, this week the Multiamory crew tackles the questions that our listeners left on the Multiamory voicemail line. If you want to have a question answered on the air, you too can leave a voicemail for us at 678-MULTI-05. Covered in this episode: — My girlfriend doesn’t want me to fall in love with anyone. How do I casually date without leading people on? — How do I handle my jealousy of my partner’s past relationship with his ex-wife? — How do I protect my sexual health without imposing strict and burdensome rules…

Break ups suck. They suck a little less if you’re not the one going through it, but if it’s your partner who’s just been dumped, then you may find yourself shouldering the burden of some of their suck as well. In this episode we talk about the ways to care for your partner, your self, and your relationship when your partner is going through a break-up or other turbulent period of life. If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one of our patrons at www.patreon.com/multiamory. In addition to helping us continue to create new…

This week we’re discussing agreement pitfalls — common relationship agreements that seem reasonable, but which may cause trouble in the long run. The Multiamory crew has a pretty firm stance against strict rules in relationships, but there are many agreements that fall into a debatable grey area. Is it fair to make sure you and your partner conduct relationships in the exact same way? Is it ethical to ask a partner to check in with you before they get sexual on a date with someone else? Tune in to hear our thoughts on these questions and more. If you want…