Author: On The Wet Coast

Many of us in non-monogamy land started out in monogamous relationships. Not necessarily because those were right for us, but because they were the default. We didn’t even know that there were other relationship options. Once we start exploring ethical non-monogamy we discover countless variations on the big 3: SwInger, Open, Polyamory. Some people have strict definitions of what each of those relationship styles has to look like but almost everyone we’ve met in non-monogamy has their own take. Turns out, when you shed the societal expectations of what relationships are meant to look like, you can pick & choose…

Fantasizing is big part of most healthy sex lives. We fantasize about things we’d like to have done to us and/or what we’d like to do to others. We also fantasize about things that scare, horrify, or even kind of (or completely) disgust us. All these things are part of healthy sexual brain activity. “Is this normal?” is a question about fantasies that comes up a lot in advice columns. The answer is yes, in that abnormality is completely normal when it comes to fantasy scenarios. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Kat & Flick talk Fantasies. How…

Butt stuff! It’s not just anal sex anymore, but a whole spectrum of ass play. What’s the appeal and the fascination? In our lifetime, it’s gone from being a secret perversion to borderline mainstream, referenced and discussed in pop culture both frankly and humorously. And some people feel increasingly pressured to make anal sex part of their repertoire without even knowing if they really want to, let alone knowing how to do it safely and pleasurably. Today On the Wet Coast Flick Morrison & Kat Stark discuss the why’s and what’s of butt stuff. Buy Kat’s brand new book Yelling…

We on the Wet Coast are huge fans of sex toys. We have a large collection and use them regularly both in solo play and with our partners. We’ve tried a lot of different things and have learned through extensive trial and error what types of toys work best for us, since not every toy works for every body. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Kat Stark and Flick talk about sex toys. How to find the best toys for you and how to integrate toys into your sexytimes with others. Buy Kat’s brand new book Yelling In…

Getting things started is not always easy. Sending that first message on a dating site. Putting yourself out there with your romantic or sexy interest. Asking for that first kiss. Or even knowing how to flip that switch from social time to sexytime in a dating scenario – or play party. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick and Kat Stark are discussing Getting Things Started. We’ll share a few tips and pointers of things that have worked for us in the past, and where things can go wrong. Exciting news: Buy Kat’s brand new book Yelling In…

Like so many things in our lives, non-monogamous activity can be cyclical. There are times when we’re out there dating a ton and boning all the sexy people, when we have the time and energy to enjoy the sexy connections we have made and will make. Yet there are other times when we need to pull back for a myriad of reasons, when time or energy are at a premium, and we need to do less. It can be easy to feel discouraged during these times, if it’s not how you usually operate, but it’s important to take the time…

People whose identities don’t conform to the norms within a community often feel isolated from that community. Figuring out how to fit in when you don’t hew to the line of a group is an incredible challenge. Bisexuals don’t always feel at home in LGBTQ community and are often deliberately isolated from it. Switches don’t always feel at home in Kink community since many in BDSM appear to think you need to pick a side and stick with it. Multiracial people don’t feel entirely at home in either racial group. Not being specifically one or the other means they often…

Not every relationship lasts forever–Whaaa?–turns out that happily ever after was kind of a fraudulent bill of goods we were sold as kids watching Disney movies. Relationships end or sometimes transition into subtly or entirely different forms. Tonight On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and Kat Stark are discussing Impermanence, Breakups, and Relationship Transitions. Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast.com Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm Music in this episode:…

Sexy Vacations can be one of the incredibly fun perks of a non-monogamous lifestyle. Going to different cities and countries is always amazing, but going to different places and having sex with people: that takes the amazing factor up to a whole new level. From hitting up locals via a dating site to visiting loves & sexyfriends in their cities to conferences to hotel takeovers to full-on swinger resorts, sexy holidays–or fuckations–run a huge fun spectrum. On this episode of On The Wet Coast, we’ve got Cooper Beckett from Life on the Swingset here to discuss sexy vacations and his…

In this episode of the On The Wet Coast podcast, we examine our experiences of public bisexuality through exhibitionism and how it relates to the male gaze, being good allies and supporting those more marginalized than us in the new political climate, and the pros and cons of doing the work of emotional labour in our complex array of relationships. In part one of Female Relationships, Dawn Ardent and I discussed the complexities of female relationships in non-monogamy, shaking off the internalized competition we were socialized to associate with other women, and how honestly communicating fears and boundaries can help…