Author: Zoe

When I was asked if I would review toys for Life on the Swingset, I jokingly said “only if it comes with instructions” as it seems much of my experience has been fairly vanillaish. Imagine my surprise when I was given the Joya 4U Little Su Tulip (vibrator) and dildo.  The packaging for these toys is pretty amazing.  Each comes in a box in the shape of a hard-backed novel that could blend in on any bookcase.  It isn’t until you open the cover, that you see the sixteen pages of instructions (four pages per each of four languages) and…

Our first date had gone well. We had met for dinner and I ended up following him home. We had already had the discussion about STI testing and agreed to no sex until we were both up to date on testing.  So going to a place more private to talk seemed reasonable. Talking led to playing. I told him that I should probably go.  It had been more than a month since I had had sex and I was having trouble keeping in control. He smiled at me and told me that just because he couldn’t enter me, didn’t mean…

My name is Zoe Hanis and I think I have discovered a huge difference between polyamory and swinging (besides the fact that swingers seem to be much better at fucking). This week has been a rough one.  It is always very hard for me to see someone that I care about in pain.  I have that “mommy instinct” to fix whatever the problem is, or at the very least, kiss it and make it better.  Unfortunately, when the relationship is only one that is in my poly web and does not directly include me, the only thing I can really…

My name is Zoe Hanis and I have discovered the terms polyamory and swinger are not mutually exclusive – oh, and I may be bisexual. I think I am starting to get the hang of swinging; though I am not convinced that it is a whole lot different from polyamory. I am not having sex with anonymous strangers nor am I having one night stands. Rather I am having sexual relationships with my friends and their friends.  It seems easy and natural. Friendship is a special type of relationship. It is an easy-going one. Friends accept you for what or…

My name is Zoe Hanis and I am … confused. A couple of weeks ago I was polyamorous, able to have multiple loving relationships – my husband, my out-of-state boyfriend, my “new guy” boyfriend.  Everything was compartmentalized and simple.  It all made sense.  Sex meant something; maybe not love like the monogamous society claims, but a deeper connection never-the-less.  It wasn’t casual play. Now I am a swinger or at least I got to play on the swingset for a night at my first swinger party.  And it was … amazing.  Well, that is to say,  it became amazing.  While…

It’s now 4.30 in the morning.  I have been home from the party for about half an hour or so and have far too much in my head to even think of sleeping. Let’s back up.  All week I had been on pins and needles about attending Guy’s swing party.  But I was not going to back out.  I wanted to meet his friends, and I needed to know if I could accept this part of who he is. Guy had recently asked to be called my boyfriend instead of just “the new guy”.  To me, “boyfriend” has always come…

My name is Zoe Hanis and I am polyamorous. I was recently invited to a swinger party. I am seriously considering going. Much more so than I might have been even six months ago, when the idea of swinging conjured thoughts of sex with anonymous strangers and preconceived notions of a “meat-market” where people would only be interested in physical traits or coital skills. The thought of sex used only as a recreational activity, like a pick-up game of basketball, would make me nauseous, bringing back childhood memories of always being the last one to be picked for any team. The…