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When I first started engaging in non-monogamy, I was living in a big American city with a large, liberal social network. It wasn’t that hard to find like-minded people. We moved from the US to Europe over a year ago and we’ve been celibate ever since.

I am so glad I’m not the male part of the swinging relationship. So much worry about the plumbing – getting hard, staying hard, holding back, and then trying to finish when it’s finally time. Viagra and Cialis and such little pills have done wonders but not conquered the problem entirely.

The short version is that Ark broke a rule. It was an important rule that was there for everyone’s safety and my sanity, but in the heat of the moment, he broke the rule. I felt betrayed, broken—and I was pissed off. I took the time to cool off and think about it and rationalize it, and I’ve done the best I could about it. I

Observing the little niceties is important. I’ve been in the Lifestyle for less than a year, but I’ve seen that the concept is generally practiced among swinging couples who know that good social graces improve the chances of making the best kind of new friends – those who will have sex with you. But good graces among the single men? Not so much.