A colleague mentioned that she was watching a movie that included a scene with couples tossing their keys into a bowl, and at that moment her teenage daughter walked into the room. Confused by the scene, the daughter asked why the couples were tossing keys in a bowl, and my colleague explained the concept of a key party. The daughter responded that that behavior was “reckless” and my colleague wholeheartedly agreed.

We wrap up our “Swinging For Dummies” primer for the swinging lifestyle with the future. We discuss the types of relationships you might want to have with your swinging playmates, how to discuss that with them, how to determine what you’re trying to get out of swinging, what websites you might use, and then shamelessly we implore you to join us in Desire this November.

I am fascinated by stories about polygamy, both fiction and non-fiction. I’ve watched every episode of the HBO television series “Big Love.” I’ve read the Brady Udall novel “The Lonely Polygamist.” I’ve read Irene Spencer’s harrowing account of her life as a polygamist’s wife in the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s, “Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist’s Wife.” I have several other fiction and non-fiction pieces to read or watch in my queue that I haven’t gotten to yet.

I have fake boobs. I got them three years ago. I love my girls. They are silicone and bring me to almost a C. Not va va voom but I sure am proportional now in all the right places. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I love how I look with them

I have mentioned some of my vanilla friends in the past. Way back in the beginning we even had MGS with some of them. That event is what cracked the doorway to non-monogamy for Anne and I. That same couple has met some of our non-monogamous friends. Well the non-monogamous friends they met are the ones who typically throw the parties we attend. Anne and I have talked to these vanilla friends before about the whole swinging thing. They had tentatively expressed interest.

One of the most common questions that gets thrown out into the ether by people entering the world of non-monogamy, is “How do you deal with jealousy?” This is a totally valid and important question, but it’s also important to remember that jealousy is a different animal in a polyamorous relationship than in a monogamous one.

We squick Dylan out with talk of dragon sex. Dylan vindicates himself with a listener voicemail about post vasectomy emptiness, then discusses his gigantic balls. Once we establish that Shira is the Dummy of the title, we begin by discussing the difference between soft swap and full swap, same and separate rooms, and group sex. We discuss developing community, not rushing, and rules, how being drunk is a turn-off. You’re dating as a team.

Looking back on the last 10 months, I wonder if I can remember a time when my sex life was different. I mean, of course I can. Of course I can remember being mercilessly teased for being overweight and being rejected by more guys than I’ve had desserts in my life. I had no sex life.

Our boyfriend and girlfriend Julian and Hanne are going through a bit of a relationship crisis this evening. They may make a major change in their relationship to add some space between them to allow healing to happen. The intent is not for them to break up, but any major change can be like a seismic shift in the foundation of a relationship and the outcome is unpredictable. It’s a strange to be in a place where I’m worrying about my boyfriend’s reaction to making pivotal and significant changes to his relationship with his other girlfriend. We just don’t have cultural scripts for how to deal with that. What do you do with the compassion you feel for your husband’s girlfriend as she deals with personal issues and momentous changes in her relationship with her other boyfriend, who also happens to be your boyfriend? We get to make it up as we go along.

On the week of our 20th anniversary my wife, Kat, and I officially became swingers. We met a couple we first spoke to online for dinner, and went back to their place for a foursome that went late into the night. On the drive home, we sat in stunned silence interrupted by laugher; as what we did that night felt unreal. We were liberated by the sexual freedom and adventure we shared; yet what we did went against everything society had taught us about what marriage is. When I asked Kat how she felt about what we had done, she looked me in the eye and said that she felt no shame and had no regrets.