The prompt for this post was a misunderstanding between myself and a local member of the sex-positive community. He posted a status update on a social networking site stating that he was “seek[ing] bisexual, poly switch. Must be decisive, consistent and not fear commitment.” I re-posted his statement on my Twitter account, thinking to myself, “Wow. That actually sounds a whole lot like what I’m looking for.” I was surprised to see words that I found so very apt coming out of someone else’s mouth – or, I suppose, fingers. I was pleased and impressed.

BDSM is a great, big, wide world. It can be scary, intimidating, cruel (and not in a fun way), cold and defiant. It takes a great deal of patience, self-discipline and strength to pursue this lifestyle. You should definitely be comfortable with who you are as a person, and where you fit before you delve too deeply into it. The base line in all of your relationships should be always be trust.

After a spirited reading of the suggested uses for the Hitachi Magic Wand, Cooper claims to be the Steward of Gondor, and Dylan and Cooper describe their swing party that went bad.

We need a patriarch. That would solve a lot of problems.

The polygamists have the right idea in some ways. Let’s select one person who will serve as the guide for how the relationship will be arranged and everyone will try to align to that goal. Sure, there’s less individual freedom. But in sacrificing that, I bet you gain some harmony. When you have four people all with their own vision for where the relationships should go, it can be chaotic. A benevolent patriarch could serve as a leader with a vision for this unruly vehicle. He (because at least in traditional polygamy, it’s always a he) could be the arbiter of disputes, the person who makes the final decision when we just can’t come to consensus.

Hey Listeners! The HPV episode is still inspiring some pretty great listener mail. Here is…

I’m approaching the end of my first year in the Lifestyle and have lately been thinking about what I’ve learned along the way.

I have to confess that my motivation for giving this a try was purely physical. I’m a single, 40+ woman with the sex drive of a teenage boy. I just wasn’t getting laid often enough. I’d like to be able to say that’s changed, but frequency – or rather infrequency – has been one of my greatest disappointments about the Lifestyle.

Last year recently after starting the lifestyle and learning a lot more about all the fabulous sex toys that exist in the world Anne and I decided to exchanged toys for Xmas. After all, why should you stop finding toys under the tree on Xmas morning just because you grew up? This year we continued are newly founded tradition and upped the spending limit because the year had been good to us in my ways than one. We bought each other two toys this year instead of just one.

At the beginning of October 2010, the Center of Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University…

Our family hosted the a visit from Mr. and Mrs. Wonderful and family this weekend. As has proven true in previous blogs, a visit from the Wonderfuls always stretches my conceptions of the lifestyle. The good part about their visits is that they always seem to cause Mr. Doubleplay and I to have some honest conversations about our vision of our marriage. The bad part is that these conversations seem to arise because the Wonderfuls stir emotions that I didn’t know I had. And they aren’t always positive emotions. Instead they tend to make me feel twisty and perplexed.

Cooper here with a question that has actually come up for Marilyn and I in…