Some swinger haters seem to be particularly riled by my active involvement in my church community. The assumption seems to be that swinging and religion/spirituality are not compatible. I figure it is time for me to state my views on this matter.

Some readers may wonder: Why polyamory? Well, for us, this came from the understanding that we do not control the other person’s sexuality. We are very sexual creatures and we are attracted to whomever we happen to be attracted to. We were comfortable in our sexuality and our relationship, and through much discussion we came to an understanding that physical intimacy does not constitute infidelity. Deception is infidelity, but what Ally and I do is right out in front of each other. Full disclosure.

We continue our discussion with poly activist and organizer Pepper Mint, but first Cooper and Dylan blow a “fight” over the word queer out of proportion. We discuss eroticizing jealousy, Ginger gets hot over the idea of “straddling the line,” Pepper discusses polyamory and gay men. Cooper becomes militant about coming out and rails against the forces of “old and evil.” And of course, we all get silly many times.

There are a lot of gray areas in life, but I’ve tended to live mine in a black-or-white, all-or-nothing sort of way. Standing in the middle requires a lot of stamina and patience. The first I can manage if something is worth the effort, but the second? Um, yeah… Pardon me as I try to shake off a sudden vision of friends and family laughing so hard that they’re gasping for breath.

We were with some good friends that we had soft swapped with before and I am pretty sure they knew we were ready to full swap. They had heard about my full swap experience from me and probably through the grape vine.

Okay, let me start with this; boys, calm down, this isn’t for everyone; girls, don’t get so excited, this isn’t as easy as I am going to make it sound, and your man will most likely have a screaming cow if you try and get him on board without the full understanding of what you are asking him to do, how it works, and how it can be a wonderful experience for him in so many ways