Review: Cobra Libre Male Masturbator

The future of male masturbation.

Maybe I wasn't promised this directly by the company, but this seemed to be the word coming down the pipeline as we all waited for the Cobra Libre to be in stock. With its sleek lines and its rolled front, not only did we have no idea how large this thing was, but it looked like a futuristic cross between a car and a Dust Buster. If it had neon striping it could well be a light cycle from Tron III: The Sexcade.

I've had mixed luck with male masturbators, because, well, rarely do they rise above the level of using my own hand. And I've been doing that long enough that I know exactly how I like it. (Which does have the irritating side effect of masturbation death grip syndrome.) Sleeves have almost resoundingly been duds, the larger arsenal like the Fleshlight or the Tenga Flip Hole are better, but are massive, heavy, irritating to clean, and, well, pale to my hand. As many know, the only thing that I've enjoyed thoroughly was the Tenga Egg, and its major selling point is simply that it's not that different from using my hand.

The Cobra Libre is something altogether different. Taking it out of the box, my first thought was how much smaller it was than I'd imagined it would be. Sleek, white, with a silicone interior, I threw it on the Fun Factory magnetic charger and looked forward to later in the evening when I'd give it a go. What makes it different? Well, it's not a thruster toy, it's a vibrator.

There is a distinct lack of vibrating toys for men beyond the vibrating cock ring. I've pressed the Hitachi Magic Wand against my frenulum in the past and enjoyed the sensation, but was surprised how quickly I numbed out. Due to this, I was skeptical that a toy that wouldn't have any sort of thrusting or friction component could really do the job.

When the Cobra Libre was fully charged, I layed down and fired it up. So, there's a tube of sorts with a ridge inside, you slide your cock in past the ridge and that presses against your perineum and sort of “locks” your cock in place. The front section vibrates based on the settings on the top of the device. I was nary a minute into my first session with the Cobra Libre when I discovered what may well be its fatal design flaw.

The buttons up top, for faster, slower, changing settings and on and off, they're touch buttons, not press buttons. While this may make it a tad more futuristic, it has an inherent problem. These buttons sit on top of the device toward the front. I have big hands, as do many men, and I couldn't find a single way of holding the Cobra Libre where my fingers didn't in some way come in contact with the three buttons up top. At best changing up the speeds or vibration when I was in a groove, but at worst, just turning the damned thing off.

I don't think I'm alone amongst men in that for me, consistency is the key to orgasm, and these abrupt shifts were really wrecking things. I tried on three separate occasions and found the same results. So, in an effort to at least get to “proof of concept” I set about to find a way to hold the Cobra Libre where I wouldn't be able to change the mood at the drop of a hat. After many different failed attempts, I did discover a semi solution that recalled my childhood. If I layed on my stomach, with the Cobra Libre under a pillow under my stomach, I could stay inserted and not touch the buttons at all.

This finally allowed me to experience the full range of the vibratory pleasure. And pleasure it was. But as with most vibrators and penises, it just didn't really go anywhere. Since i couldn't touch it, I couldn't really vary the angle much, I found myself thrusting into it with the very small amount of “wiggle room” and then, yes, it got me there.

So, is the Cobra Libre a good idea in theory? Yes. Is it a reasonably good execution, I'd say yes to that too. However, the button configuration is horrible, and because of that, a promising new toy that could've offered something unique and different is instead just destined for the rejects pile. Perhaps melding this idea with a sleeve might improve it, but in its current state, I'm unimpressed.

Full Disclosure: We did not purchase this product, it was sent to us specifically for review. Our policy is to, regardless of how we acquired a product, review it fairly and openly. No writer for Life On The Swingset will ever deliberately mislead our readers into believing that a product is good because of anything we received from the company. We are open and honest, and cannot be bought or bribed. If we love a product, we'll tell you, if we don't, BELIEVE us, we'll tell you that too. End disclaimer.