“To Club or not to Club?” – Clubbing vs Private Hook-Ups


“To Club or not to Club?” - Clubbing vs Private Hook-UpsI have often heard people curious about or new to the lifestyle say “We are not ready for a club or a big party.” I have also read articles that have said it is best to “start out” in a more intimate setting, meeting another couple for a quiet evening and “see what develops”. With all due respect to the people who have this belief, and to those who give that advice to others, I beg to differ.

Here’s why;

Let’s say you meet a couple online and there is mutual interest, and you plan to get together.  The “pressure” one can experience in a couple on couple meeting is indescribable. Be it in a hotel room or public place, there is no graceful way to step off and regroup, no place to discuss matters with your partner, and no graceful way to bow out. If you are NOT interested in the couple (or single) you meet, it is awkward. If you ARE interested, it can be even MORE awkward unless you are one with a special gift for slick, there is no smooth path from discussion to play when it is just the three or four of you.

In the lifestyle, stories abound about wasted evenings in hotel rooms and private homes where the tension was as thick as pea soup. But in the end, no one ever got their clothes off and the evening ended with an awkward exodus of a frustrated couple, and even more frustrated hosts.

By contrast, let’s take a look at the club scenario:

First, do your homework. Research the clubs in your area. Ask questions and if the clubs are evasive or non responsive, move on. (More on this is a future article) Once you find the club that seems right for you, consider meeting your potential playmates AT the club.

Here are just a few of the advantages.

Let’s start with an issue that is sometimes overlooked; Safety. In the hotel room you are on your own, at a club you are surrounded by people and security. If things get weird, you are covered. At the club, you have room to spread out. If you need a sidebar with your partner to talk things over, you have room to do it. If you are those who have trouble “getting started” the club itself has a vibe that helps move things along. The erotic energy is contagious. Let’s say the couple you meet is not quite what you were expecting based on your online encounter. You are at a club with dozens, maybe even hundreds of others, chances are both you and this couple will find someone to click with, if it doesn’t happen to be with each other. Meanwhile, you can dance, play party games and network “up close and personal” and make arrangements for future meetings.

For all these reasons and more, we suggest you skip the 14×24 confines of room 112 at Motel 6, and the frustrating and frankly unsafe GPS scan for “163258 West Highway R East” and looking for the house that sets back a mile from the road with a stuffed crow on the mailbox, and invite the folks to meet at the club!

Perks Hugs

Bek and Cos


Bek and Cos are a happily married couple of over 20 years, and the owners of PartyPerks847. They know the club scene inside and out and blog about the issues and questions concerning clubs, club happenings, and advice on what to expect and how to navigate your way through the club scene. Follow their blog and reach out to them at partyperks847@gmail.com, and see their website at partyperks847.com

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