The New Normal—Readjusting to Life After Desire Resort and Spa


The New Normal—Readjusting to Life After Desire Resort and SpaA week ago, I was soaking up my last day at Desire, which always turns into a bit of a frenzy on the last day. We have things we want to do, but instead I quickly slip into my daily Desire mode on each trip. My daily Desire schedule usually consists of the following:

-Wake up just in time for the end of breakfast, around 10. Make sure to drink the jugo de verde (green drink), as it will get rid of my hangover from the night before. Eat lots of papaya.
-Beach volleyball at 11. If I mess up my serve, I evoke the “boobie rule” and flash my chi-chis
-Lunch consisting mainly of ceviche, fresh guacamole, fish tacos, and chips. Yum….
-Beach bed time, including a good nap
-Wander about and flirt with people
-Hot tub by 5, much naked flirting and debauchery occur
-Pre-dinner sex if it is an extra fun day
-Fabulous dinner, usually at the Asian restaurant
-Dress up in costume of the night
-Lounge bar flirting and visiting
-Hot dancing at the disco
-More sex in our room or the playroom or the hot tub or the beds by the hot tub (when warm enough)

I love my Desire days. This year, there were so many other things we COULD do. Ginger and Cooper had a great set of workshops and events. I’m sorry to say I couldn’t get my ass off the beach bed for many, although I especially regret not getting to the energy workshop. Cooper and I would wave in passing and say, “We need to find some time to chat!” and then I would snooze or flirt some more. Plus the “Sex with Dr. Jess” expert was there for three days. I did manage to get us to two of those because 4:00 is a great time slot for us (post nap, pre-hot tub). Plus she was HOT, so getting instructions from her sultry voice on how to deliver the blowjob I was working on was part of the erotic flair.

So, back to the last day. We really did want to do a long list of things we had thought we had the whole week to do—sail in the Hobie Cat, snorkel out by the reef, take a walk along the beach, and take some sexy pictures. So we did them all on Friday. It was a fabulous day.

One thing about being ‘Swinger Summer Camp’—you inevitably make friend and after almost a week, you might even have a set of friends. I love that about Desire, but it can get awkward after a few days. Especially for a slut like me. We love our new friends, but one couple especially clearly wished to spend more PLAY time with us. We did play once, sort of twice. And it was lots of fun. But I wanted to flit about and sample the buffet. I felt badly that their feelings seemed to be hurt by this. I adored them. If they lived in my hometown they would be my best friends, lifestyle or otherwise. But I my eyes wander, and that’s part of the fun of the Lifestyle. Wandering is encouraged.

That last day, Mr. Doubleplay and I were like kids in a candy store. The resort was turning over for a new week of fabulous couples, and some of the new folks were hot, hot, hot. Our last night in paradise and we were going to be gluttonous. Dinner with a hot couple from New York. Hot tub time with a couple that we called Matthew McConaughey and Nicole Kidman. Mr. McConaughey was so ripped that when he was fucking me I had to just keep rubbing my hands across his rock hard stomach.

I was so giddy by disco time that I ran up to Cooper, gave him a big hug and said, “I just fucked Matthew McConaughey! Oh my God!” It was so great to share that with Cooper, who I knew would give me a high five. Then Ginger handed me a Jell-O shot and I realized I truly was in paradise. But the night was not over—time for more dancing with both new couples, more sex in the playroom, more sex in the hot tub. Wow is all I can say.

I left Desire on an absolute high. And here I am in the real world again. But there’s a difference this time. On our last two visits, I think we were giddy and amazed as we got on that plane returning home. Kind of like, “Oh, my God! Can you believe we just did that?” This time, it’s more of a feeling of, “Why is the rest of the world not like Desire?” I felt so absolutely at home at Desire this year—absolutely no sense of self-consciousness. I let loose the whole week long, whether I was on the dance floor or playing with a hot couple. I was a dirty little slut and loved it. We laughed and embraced life the whole week.

I guess before I was returning to what was the real me, and now I think the me at Desire is the me that I would like to be more often. Living in a small town where people gossip, judge, ostracize—well, our day-to-day lives make it very hard to be “out” as swingers. Yet I am on a mission to embody the joy and openness of the swinger life style even in the vanilla world. And, I really, truly, need to go to Desire more often. It feeds my soul.


Mrs. Doubleplay is 40-something mom living in the middle of America with kids, a career, and pretty house in the suburbs. She’s active in her local church, coaches the kids’ soccer games, and happens to have a secret life as a swinger. Married to her high school sweetheart, Mr. Doubleplay, the couple dipped their toes in the lifestyle for a couple of years but then dropped off the radar to have kids. They rejoined the lifestyle in 2005 and haven’t looked back. They have been soft swap from the start but are working their way toward greater forms of adventure as we meet hot couples on lifestyle vacations, swinger clubs, and online websites.


  1. Mrs. Doubleplay – I love your post. I can sense the freedom and openness that you experienced and expressed at Desire. The thing that I love most about your post is this: “I am on a mission to embody the joy and openness of the swinger life style even in the vanilla world.” This expresses so beautifully the potential that I’ve seen the lifestyle open up to me in my vanilla life. I seriously want to steal that quote and put it on my site as my personal mission statement. (I would never actually steal someone else’s writing, by the way.) But thank you! Beautiful, wonderful, joy!

  2. Desire is truly a special place. It is truly the only week of the year where Mrs. L and I can leave the stresses of work and being mom and dad at home and truly be the uninhibited people. There are so many “moments”, whether its basking your naked body in the sun, sharing more laughs than you can count, 2-3 hour lunches…and spontanous, hot sex. We’d also throw in a visit to Claudia for a massage. About the only reason we can actually force ourselves to get moving there. Re-entry is painfully hard when you realize how closed off the rest of the world is.

  3. Sounds like you had a fantastic time.
    Funny… after reading your blog, it sparked an interesting conversation at home. Long story short-

    So after many many talks – over a few days -with hubz we concluded that we are not into swapping mates. We’re probably more into the voyeurism and exhibitionism sort of thing…can we do that at Desire? We just found out about this place through your blog 🙂

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