On-Premise Club 101—Our Routine

I am writing this en route to the annual holiday party at our local on-premise swinger’s club. Our club is an hour and a half away from where we live. There are no hotels nearby, however, so we have to drive home at the end of the night. It makes for a very late evening by the time that we get home, so we don’t get there often.

To make such a long trip, we try to go during one of the big events, such as Halloween or Christmas. Other times of year we check to see who is listed as coming and watch for a big crowd. Our local club lists its events on swinglifestyle.com. If the crowd doesn’t have a large amount of couples, it is a big gamble to make such a trip since all of the couples who sign up rarely attend.

To maximize our evening, we always reach out to a few couples before we arrive. This strategy has been very helpful—if for no other reason so that we know we will have a handful of couples that we can speak to when we arrive. “Hey, we talked online” is a good icebreaker to walk up to couples in a place where we otherwise might not know anyone.

We find it frustrating when we go to events and couples are lined up along the tables against the wall. Unless they came just to watch, they are going to leave disappointed if they don’t get up and socialize. I try not to sit down much at a club and keep close to the bar since that is the place where most couples will keep coming and going.

The layout of the club and size of the crowd make a big difference too, but it is a lot easier to meet people in a crowded space. Having to go and walk across the room to purposefully meet people is challenging even for an extrovert like me. That space issue is another reason why a large crowd makes it much easier to meet people.

When going to a club, I always pack a bag. Our club locks its doors at 11, so you can’t go back out to your car. I always pack extra makeup, hairspray, breath mints, and our sex kit (condoms, lube, and an icebreaker game like Swingset). I usually also bring at least one change of clothes. Our club has a steak dinner at the beginning of the evening. I like to wear a sexy dress for dinner and then change into lingerie or the theme afterward. Given our long drive home I also bring a pair of comfy pajamas for the ride home.

Most on-premise clubs are also BYOB due to licensing laws that prevent sex and alcohol in the same space (oh the crime of it!). So make sure to bring plenty of booze. Clubs provide the mixers like sodas and water. Newbies sometimes don’t realize they need to bring their own liquor for on premise clubs.

Mr. Doubleplay and I like to get to the club early so that we can do some people watching and make the most out of our long drive. Usually, the music switches to dance music around 10:00. On-premise clubs tend to have sketchy dance music we have found; off premise clubs tend to have better/more modern DJs. While realizing that the DJ at our club caters to a wide range of styles and ages, it’s a too much hard rock from decades ago for us. It seems that a few cliché songs are a must at on-premise clubs including “Sexy Bitch,” “Apple Bottom Jeans,”  “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” “[Loosen Up My] Doll Buttons,” “Smack That,” “Shake that Ass,”  “Just a Little Bit,”  “Promiscuous Girl,” and so a few more.  I admit to be tiring of these songs, but on the whole Mr. D and I enjoy the sexy dancing and with a critical mass on the dance floor. In fact, the dancing can be one of our favorite parts of the evening. Lots of bumping and grinding can happen out there. Mr. D. also admits to developing an almost instant attraction to a lady with long hair if he has the time to bump and grind her from behind as she swishes her hair about.

We really enjoy the on-premise arrangement at our club because otherwise the transition to a play space can be long and awkward and the mojo can get lost in the transition. In our club, the beds are just down the hall.  The space also has an enormous hot tub, which is another great transition to playing as you are already naked. We enjoy some quality licking and sucking in the hot tub. The only real issue in the hot tub especially are lurking single guys—a known dilemma in the lifestyle. Some just hang out in the hot tub, waiting to jack off at what they see. And hopefully to get an invitation to join in the fun. While I sympathize with their plight, they can be annoying if that’s not your cup of tea.

On a crowded night, finding a playroom can be a challenge, but luckily the staff at our club is quick to change the sheets and keep the rooms going. Most of the rooms at our club are private; most other clubs have a lot more public play space than this one. I like having the private play space option but I regret not being able to watch others more at our club.

Like with many clubs, ours has a range of body types, ages, and desires. Mr. D and I set our goal to find our 10%–the people that fit with us. We don’t expect more than 10% of the crowd to be a fit with us at all, and the overall makeup of the crowd can be discouraging at first blush. But we have been surprised that we have always left this club well satisfied. We found the people that work well with us and usually sparks do fly.