Nevermore – Using the Term “Woo-Woo” and Sacred Sexuality


Nevermore – Using the Term “Woo-Woo” and Sacred SexualityOk my supposedly GGG and affirming brethren, we need to talk. This is RavenHarte and Cooper may regret asking me to start blogging for LOTS because I have a little bit of a bone to pick with you. Yes you SOP community…… and even you hiding over there under the mic. Where in the name of all that is poly did this sudden rise in the reference to non Big-3 spiritualities and disciplines as “woo-woo” amongst sex educators and podcasters come from? HUH? This week alone, while listening to SEVEN, yes seven, different podcasts, I heard over and over again the same derogatory tone and “woo-woo” word used when referring to any aspect of sexuality outside of the mundane. Even the practitioners of such things, when being interviewed on said shows, seemed to feel like they had to excuse the fact that they DO practice in this way, or believe in that way, by saying things like “not to go all woo-woo on you,” or “I know this sounds kind of woo-woo.” Really????  Stop it! Stop talking down about it, stop talking down TO it. Stop calling it “woo-woo.” I understand it’s a shorthand label for an entire realm of the mystical or spiritual “unknown” that unfortunately has shot its way across our country and into the lexicon, but stop! Especially you, sacred sexuality people. Seriously!

Does no one consider how much those who practice in these spiritualities and disciplines have actually studied and amassed before they ever even present themselves for public consumption? We of the alternative sexuality persuasions should know how difficult a road they may already have had it, and perhaps still do have it, depending on where in the world they live, to continue to bring their craft to others. So when you reduce what we they do, arts of many different wondrous varieties, down to this ONE derogatory term, does no one realize how much it devalues what they HAVE done, are doing, and hope to continue to do for sex positivity and sacred sexuality in the future? And it’s happening publicly on a massive scale, in front of listeners who are looking for authorities on what is worth trying or not. That’s not being sex positive and GGG to me, my fellow sex travelers.

Why does this bother me so much? Because in the world of non-monogamy and BDSM, I am a practicing Qadishtu, a position in the realm of sacred sexuality/sensuality which would be thrown into the abhorred category “woo-woo” with my sister (and brother) artists known by such terms as: Tantrika, Dakini, Devidasi, Hetearae, Geisha, or Courtesan. Granted I have only been a Qadishtu for a couple of years, less than the length of time I have been an ordained Reverend, Reiki Master, or facilitator of sacred relationships work (5yrs), much less time than I have been a teacher of the excavation of Self through mystical Kabbalah (11yrs), much much less time than I have run female empowerment groups and rituals, and been the Priestess of an active Western Mystery tradition coven (15yrs), or a practitioner of my coven’s line (19yrs), or an initiate of the Masonic tradition (30yrs). Get the picture?

Now I get that 30 yrs ago, heck even 20 yrs ago, the average person who was out about being part of an alternative spirituality or sexual practice probably came across as a tad “flaky” and “far out,” and very probably was not all that well-versed in the history, background, whys and wherefores of what they were doing. However times they have a-changed. We have greater access than ever to a much wider arena of knowledge and teachers than we ever have, and we use them. The practices many sacred sexuality/sensuality/relationship workers were using even then (like Therapeutic Touch, Quantum Touch, hypnotherapy and guided meditation) are now recommended by medical/dental professionals for use in tandem with secular medicine because they know IT WORKS. I mean not for nothing people it wasn’t that long ago chiropractic work and acupuncture were considered as “woo-woo” as anything else, and are now covered by most medical insurance plans as complementary alternative medicine.

My guess is that, besides the practitioners who seem to be excusing themselves unnecessarily, the majority of people using the term “woo-woo” have no direct experience with the spiritual, energetic, emotional, or psychological AHA that can come from allowing oneself to set aside the internal skeptic/critic and just “let the magic happen.” Because if they had, they’d be calling it “WHOA!” you know as in “Whoa, what was thaaaaat?” <insert nervous giggle> or “Whoa, that felt amazing!!!” <with giant eyes and gaping open mouth>  because every single skeptic I’ve ever had the pleasure to use energy with has DEFINITELY found their WHOA moment. Or maybe for the screamers “WOO HOO” is more accurate, as in “Woo Hoo my entire body has never felt more alive!!” or “Woo Hoo multiple orgasms!!” But “woo-woo” like the sound a little kids toy train might make, yeah no.


RavenHarte is just your average ordinary married but ethically non-monogamous bisexual Dominissive Kabbalist, Pagan HPS, Qadishtu, and mom who lives her truths out loud & proud.


  1. Melanie Jackson on

    WoW & Whoa! Now I have new terms to look up as the curiosity inside me is kicking me for attention! And I definitely agree that silly terms can hide and belittle the truth behind things people do not or will not understand. Well done!

  2. Yessum.

    Seriously though; guilty as charged and thank you for the calling out.

    It’s been a long journey for me to get comfortable with spirituality and sacredness in my life; let alone in my sex. While my views on this topic have changed, my language has not.

    Once upon a time I made a commitment to stop referring to genitals as ‘junk’ for similar reasons. It wasn’t sex positive, it didn’t reflect the respect I have for genitals, and it was hurtful to some people.

    So… new language. But what new language?

    It doesn’t match up with my understanding of ‘sex’ to call an energetic exchange with seekers sacred sex. But maybe it does my understanding of sexuality…

    Think think think.

    Energetically Aware Sexual Explorations? (EASE!)
    Ecstatic Exchange?
    Sacred Sexuality … you can’t see it but the word ‘sacred’ makes me make faces.

    Clearly there is more thinking to be done.

  3. I’m not a sacred sexuality practitioner, but I find it ridiculous that communities that can get on board with hard kinks and alternative relationships can’t talk about energy and spirituality without blushing…

  4. Thanks ladies for your comments. Im glad this resonated with you.

    Heather. I agree that the word “sex” doesn’t necessarily match up with “energy exchanges”, even erotic energy exchanges, and I most certainly do not lump everything I do into “sacred” or even “spiritual” either. In fact I am not even saying that everything being lumped under the “woo woo” term is sacred or spiritual in fact. Which is part of the problem. There are so many different forms of sensuality, sexuality, body play, body worship that are lumped under this annoying term, that it makes it ALL fuzzy and confusing.

    So as to terms, I think instead of using “woo woo” if perhaps the person about the use the term actually just used the words they seem afraid to us, we’d all be better off. RE if you mean sensation play with energy work, then you say that, and explain how you are stimulating your partners energy and why. If you mean sacred sex, then you explain what you mean by the words “sex” and “sacred” and how you express that. And so on…. heck we more us might practice the arts, or be willing receivers, if we actually heard the specifics of what the blanket term “woo woo” has been covering. 🙂

    I plan to submit a new post regarding what being a modern Qadishtu means to me, and my non-monogamy, so with hope at least here on the Swingset we’ll have better terms to describe the illusive “woo woo”. Though I aaaam kinda liking your term “EASE”!

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