The Political Closet

Disclaimer: What follows is SPECULATION and should in no way be regarded as fact…or truth, even.  Wild theories, these. And certainly not malicious.

I had an interesting thought recently. And I'm not sure really what brought it on, but it was one of those SNAP – SHARP FOCUS moments you get occasionally. Well, I get anyway. An, Aha! It all makes sense! sort of thing.

What, you ask, the hell are you talking about, Cooper?

Well, the thought was that it was possible that the Clintons (Bill and Hillary) have an open marriage. Let that sink in a moment. You may say duh, as though you know something, or in the vulgar “yeah they have an open marriage because Bill won't let the door close” sort of way, but have you ever really stopped to think about their marriage? I mean, since Lewinskygate and the Starr report.

Let's look at the facts. (And I use the term losely since absolutely NO research went into this blog post. Which is the way I think blogging should be, who needs FACTS when you can get by with “facts.” Works for Wikipedia.) It's no secret that Bill has difficulty keeping his pants on. And this was a trend all the way through his political career, from the early days as governor at the tail end of the swinging 70s, on the campaign trail, all the way up to a mousy intern dressed in blue.  Hillary knows all about his affairs. Has to, really. The media told her. Many many times. And in interview after interview the woman is reasoned and calm, never angry, never disdainful. Always attacking those presenting the affair as being against her husband or politically motivated.  I know many would argue that this is the political mask one has to wear, but not anymore she doesn't.

It's not like Bill is the secret to her success anymore.  If she wanted to, she could've easily left him long ago, would probably have received a shitload of support from all sorts of women who're victims of a cheating husband. But she didn't.

Which really leaves two options when you get right down to the nitty gritty:

1. Hillary Clinton is an incredibly forgiving woman with the patience of a saint, who despite decades of cheating with (in the interest of fairness) dozens of women on her husband's part, loves him enough to look the other way and forgive every single time, even after it was politically necessary to do so.

or

2. The Clintons, early on, realizing perhaps limited sexual compatibility often characteristic of people each driven with their own lives and ambitions and sharing very limited alone time together, and seeing their potential to be an awe inspiringly ferocious political duo, decided to allow each other dalliances.  And perhaps Hillary was just better at keeping hers quiet.

So, okay, there are probably a few more shades of gray options in there, but think about it. Occam's Razor would suggest that the first option, and all the variances on that theme are simply too complicated to be true.

I'll fully admit that I have ABSOLUTELY no idea if the Clintons are actually in an open marriage. But it's not something they could readily talk about if they were, now is it? And do you REALLY believe political mastermind (I don't like her, but there's no denying that she's extremely sharp) Hillary Clinton thinks he's only done it those few times it's become a scandal? Or that Bill (also very sharp) is so bad at the affair game that he got caught each time he did it? Or that, unlike almost every political scandal involving infidelity, they wouldn't split up after the second, or the third, or the twelfth.

Or, is it more likely that a power focused couple, undeniably honed in the sexual cauldron of the sixties, with different libidos, agreed to openness?

Just asking…