Playing separately


Playing separatelyMr. D. and I have only one main rule left in our lifestyle book—we play as a team. That rule seems to be ending. Or at least sometimes. We are trying to figure out what this means. And we got a taste of the fun side of dropping this rule during the last visit to our local club.

The night before our visit to the club, I was chatting on Facebook with a Lifestyle friend. She piqued my curiosity about the glories of playing separately. We had played with her and her husband many times but some drama was lurking. I have written about it previously [could link to]

I asked her how things were going in her Lifestyle world since their exclusive relationship with another couple. It did not end well. She told me that they have decided to play separately, but to walk the fine line between fun and relationship. She has some regular guys that she sees on occasion, and sometimes around the world when she travels for her job. The key is to keep no strings attached. She has to drop them when they get possessive/angry/jealous.

I asked why she prefers to swing alone. She told me, “I didn't realize that until I got out of the swing environment. Guys are different when their wives are there. They often have erection issues. I actually had a guy tell me, ‘Let’s stop and watch your husband fuck my wife for a while.’ That is a surefire way to make me feel super undesired. I have only had really satisfying sex with men when I was alone with them and then it blew my mind. For me, it comes down to energy. And I only get the full energy of a guy if he is away from his wife.”

Her message to me was powerful. It made me pause and reflect. Much of what she said rang true with my ongoing erectile frustrations that I have documented extensively in this blog.

Fast forward to the next night. We are at our local club. The crowd is thin. I notice the incredibly hot guy who I had flirted with me during our last visit. He is one of the finest looking men I have ever seen. We did some body shots and that usual “connect, talk to others, reconnect, talk to others” dance that tends to happen at a club. As the evening progresses, his wife gets sloppy drunk and passes out. They are regulars at this club and well loved by all. She is carefully put on a couch and several friends offer to watch over her and take care of her. She gives us her blessing. It is on. Not how I was planning, but it is on.

But where does Mr. Doubleplay fit into this plan? His play partner has passed out on the couch. Mr. Incredible says he is fine with an MFM. But not so hot for Mr. D. He does not want to be the “creepy single guy” waiting in the bar while I go and fuck Mr. Incredible. But he wants options. Suddenly, the stars align. We walk to the bar to get a drink and two hot older women start to flirt with him intensely. He is kissing. Sucking nipples. I know one fairly well, so I whisper to her. “Could you please take care of my husband? Give him a good fuck?” She nods eagerly and I scurry off with Mr. Incredible.

The sex is amazing. We broke a lamp. We look up and notice that the mattress has moved three feet off of the box spring. The sheets have been torn off the bed. It was wild and like nothing I have ever done in the lifestyle before.

When I come out of the room, Mr. D. is waiting with a smile on his face. He has just fucked two women. He came all over the chest of the second one. And the husbands in his play scene? Erectile issues. Again. If I had gone with him, I would have been miserable. If he had come with me, he would have been bored. Playing alone was the right call. And the ride home was a blast telling our stories to each other.

In an ideal world, Mr. D still prefers a compatible couple so that we can all play together. If the girl is hot and we have chemistry, I love that as well. But if the other girl does not want to play with me, I am starting to wonder if separate rooms are preferable. The cock might be harder. The energy might be much stronger. Now logistics are an issue. If we are meeting and greeting with a couple and get a hotel room, then what? But I am intrigued. And when I am intrigued I am ready to experiment. Let’s see what unfolds in this next swinging chapter.


Mrs. Doubleplay is 40-something mom living in the middle of America with kids, a career, and pretty house in the suburbs. She’s active in her local church, coaches the kids’ soccer games, and happens to have a secret life as a swinger. Married to her high school sweetheart, Mr. Doubleplay, the couple dipped their toes in the lifestyle for a couple of years but then dropped off the radar to have kids. They rejoined the lifestyle in 2005 and haven’t looked back. They have been soft swap from the start but are working their way toward greater forms of adventure as we meet hot couples on lifestyle vacations, swinger clubs, and online websites.


  1. I’ve also been considering this recently; I have a couple I play with, and I love playing with them together, but the one time I played with the guy on his own, the energy was definitely different.

    I’ll be reading closely to see what happens with your situation, but it sounds like your evening happened very smoothly, which is wonderful!

  2. We always enjoy your posts. We’re typically couple for couple kind of swingers. It does seem to be an ongoing trial to find couples where we all click.S does enjoy the occasional MFM so we will play that way too. I’ve helped out with other MFMs and GBs and S is always involved/participating/watching. Part of the turn on for us is getting to watch each other play. However, I can see how going solo and then coming back together to share the dirty details could be really cool. Please keep us posted:-)


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