Life in The Lifestyle: Life is Good!


Life in The Lifestyle: Life is Good!I was catching up on podcasts during my commute yesterday and Ginger said something that really struck me. It was in Swingset 124 and Ginger, Cooper and Dylan were talking about a listener email lamenting swinger doldrums. Ginger pointed out that we sometimes get jaded while we do things others only dream about. She, in an understated tone, said she has found herself saying something like ‘Oh yeah, that threesome at Desire last night was nice.’ You could almost hear the next sentence… ‘Please pass the margarine, Prof.’

I was immediately taken back to the playroom Mrs. Duncan and I were in this past Saturday with two other couples having all kinds of fun paring and tripling off in various parts of the room for what seemed like hours. By the time we left, the room was a shambles, steamier than a car at the end of a drive-in movie and had that smell of great and abundant sex. It was a very good night.

I then flashed back to my early teen years reading the Forum articles in a Penthouse my buddy got off of his father’s stack in the garage. There was no way these could be real. Hugely exciting and great masturbation aids, but no way real.

I then started hearing Shirley MacLaine belting out ‘If they could see me now…’  Like Shirley’s Charity Valentine in the luxury suite with Ricardo Montalban’s Vittorio Vitale, we are doing things that our friends and past selves only dreamed of. They and we doubted such things even really happened. Certainly not to ordinary mortals such as ourselves.

Some of us may have occasionally come close or had a minor adventure or two during college. I had one and heard about two others. But having to choose between which party to go to on any given weekend? Knowing there are multiple parties and potential partners out there all the time (if you are lucky enough to live close to an area with a decent scene)?  If you don’t believe me, just check Kasidie or SLS or SDC. In the Boston/Providence area, there are often double digit choices available. What a country! What a lifestyle!

This is not to say we gorge ourselves on the smorgasbord of fun the lifestyle has to offer. We should take a minute to note, however, that there is a smorgasbord of choices for us to engage in as our needs, wants, desires and personal boundaries dictate. Read that last sentence again and think about it.

Those choices are there and we dare to explore them. We give ourselves permission to stretch our boundaries and see what is out there. We embrace the smorgasbord while most of us, at least, consume wisely and safely of its bounty. Once in a while, it is important, I think, to celebrate who we are and the choices we have made.

The listener email followed up by saying they took care of their doldrums by taking a break for a couple of months. They then came back to the lifestyle fully recharged and were having a blast again. No smorgasbord, no matter how good, is exciting day in and day out. At some point, it gets routine and we need to change things up a bit. Having said that…

Life is good, folks, and I am thrilled to be here!

Just sayin’.


Duncan lives with his wife the lovely Mrs. Duncan, 2.03 children, their dog and 2 cars in suburban southern New England. Distressingly vanilla on the outside and surprisingly spumoni underneath, the Duncan's are fairly new to the lifestyle and kinksters to boot. They are enjoying all the experiences and discoveries this adventure has to offer. Sharing his thoughts here, Duncan hopes to promote others' personal exploration by sharing his. Writing also helps process the experiences and acts as a personal pensive.

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