A podcast about swinging, polyamory, open relationships, and "the lifestyle" from the trenches. A diverse group tackles many issues involved with non-monogamy and what it means to be a swinger or polyamorous from the point of view of educating and illuminating what, for many, is a confusing journey to start on. Subscribe on iTunes Subscribe on Stitcher Subscribe via RSS


  1. i’ve been a listener since the beginning – okay, well for the last couple years i’ve been listening when they’re released, before that i had to go back to the beginning and listen. i found you through the “sex is fun” podcast, although i’ve always been more on the poly end of the spectrum than the swinger side.

    i have supported the show and your other swingset projects through quite a few cooper-rants, and i’m part of a kink community that contains more than a few loud misogynists. i occasionally make jokes about rapists and nazis. i play “cards against humanity” at least a few times a year.

    i say this all as a preface because i want you to understand that i am not easily offended, i am not sensitive and humorless, i’m familiar with cooper’s style and i am a long time listener and supporter. through the last 2 years, i’ve heard about all of your growth, difficulties, joys, sex, loves and heartaches. it’s a completely one sided relationship, of course, but i have an attachment to you all as a group.

    unfortunately, i had to unsubscribe from the podcast after listening to the “Live Nude Cast.” i actually only made it through half of that podcast before feeling really icky and needing to shut it off. i have a lot of fun, a lot of sex, and i also happen to have a lot of privilege, which sometimes people point out to me. i understand that it can be hard to face those conversations about your own privilege, and i also understand that some people make a point of stridently “calling out” privilege wherever they see it, which i agree is not the most effective communication strategy. but hearing you mock people who point out your white, male, heterosexual privilege made me incredibly uncomfortable. sometimes you all say things that i don’t agree with, sometimes you say things that i don’t think are as funny as you do, you often get derailed and end up opining on dr. who rather than discussing non-monogamy. i can roll with all of that. but i can’t keep listening to the joking about the “privilege dagger.”

    you will probably say “good riddance” to me as a listener, and write me off as another not-fun, privilege obsessed self-righteous activist person. but my experience has been one of genuine connection and interest in your podcast and i’m disappointed in your general dismissiveness and disrespect of those of us listeners who do care about the way identities and privilege shape our worlds.

    • I’m sorry to hear that you were offended, and I would never say “good riddance” to you as a listener. People who “call out” privilege instead of engaging in a dialog are those that irritate us. And in fairness, I’m sure we irritate them as well. We all acknowledge that we have varying degrees of privilege, and that we have it easier than many. This doesn’t change the fact that it’s a dick move to call us on our privilege, especially when we are working toward the goals of the very people that call us out. It’s another example of in-fighting that is entirely unhelpful. We don’t pretend to speak for those with less privilege than us, we don’t pretend to speak for anyone but ourselves, so therefore every word out of our mouths is an opinion, something we also acknowledge readily. Privilege is a very real concept, but it is also, unfortunately, a far larger buzz-word that is thrown around willy-nilly. It is that that amuses and angers us, for it’s that that has robbed the word of almost all of its value and power. Ultimately, though, these are just words.

      We are sad to see you go as a listener, and hope you find another podcast to snuggle with. We’ve enjoyed having you.

    • Focus on Cooper making fun of his privilege and the people who have mentioned it all you want.

      Having our privilege thrown at us as reasons our opinions doesn’t matter, and having privilege used in that manner around us for years has shaped our opinion on how useless that word can be. It’s INCREDIBLY useful to acknowledge our place in the world and to filter what we say and what we do through that lens compared to other people who don’t have it, we do that all the time and when we don’t, we should be called out on it.

      I’ll be honest, I personally was not thrilled with this episode and I’m not afraid to express it. However, much like our previous live podcasts, it -does- show us in a natural, naked, and occasionally inebriated state. We were talking to each other, and we have frustrations.

      When it comes down to it, our frustration isn’t with our “privilege”, it’s that the common usage word has become a parody of itself and -that- is what we are frustrated with. There are years of people abusing privilege and abusing their own … and I say this with no irony intended, lack of privilege in arguments against people with privilege and that’s not your fault or ours.

      I really wish you’d challenge us without writing us off as a podcast, especially since you’ve been listening for a while. Knowing us, knowing we do walk the walk and talk the talk, and knowing we’re real people struggling to resolve our own feelings and beliefs with the real world and the complex web of activism and politics and service, sometimes we get it wrong, sometimes we speak about it wrong, but I’ll be bold and say we get it right almost every. damn. time.

      I appreciate the comment. I’m sorry it hurt you enough to turn off the episode and turn us off to you forever.

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