Lifestyle Milestones: Happy Anniversary To Us


Lifestyle Milestones: Happy Anniversary to UsWe consider our serious entry into the lifestyle beginning with joining and frequenting a local swingers club. We had been to a couple of house parties before and certainly spent some time researching and discussing, but the first actions that began our ongoing journey started with signing up and attending the club we now consider our home base. As discussed in a prior blog, attending and playing are two different things and it took us a while to get into the swing of things (for all of you screaming ‘ouch’, sorry about that- couldn’t resist), but we started down the path that night. It has been two years this month since then. Anniversaries are good times to evaluate where you have been, where you are and where you are headed, so here goes…

Traveling this path has been an amazing journey of self-discovery and growth both for Mrs. Duncan and I as individuals and together as a couple. We have grown closer emotionally and physically, discovered new aspects of our sexuality, explored new areas of play and pleasure. We have also crossed some things off the list that sounded good at the time but we discovered we did not enjoy. Socially, we have gone to conferences, meet and greets, and went on dates with other couples we set up on line. We have engaged folks socially and physically at parties. Prior blog entries discuss some of these areas and their meaning for me. Let’s just say it has been two years of tremendous growth. Oh, and I now write a blog for a popular website- me, write a blog! If you had told us two years ago that we would be here and be this happy, I don’t think we would have believed you.

So what does ‘here’ look like? Mrs. Duncan and I are happier than ever before and our relationship is stronger than it has ever been. Somehow, we went from frightened newbies at the club, to people who are asked to talk with new folks.  We are not in the ‘long term ambassador members’ category, but do get asked to talk with new people who share common interests (read swing and kink types), or age groups (read not TNG) or {insert favorite matching attribute here}. This happened to us at last weekend’s Halloween party. This is the biggest event at the club all year and attracts a lot of new people. We were asked to share our experiences with a couple of couples and it went quite well. This blog thing has been great. Not only have I been exercising creative muscles long left to atrophy, but I have even gotten some positive feedback. One post was linked to from another site. I have also gotten positive feedback on the posts from a few readers and have even been asked by a non-swingset podcaster if it was OK if they referenced a couple of posts in responding to their emailer’s questions. I have to thank Miko and Cooper for letting me post here and Miko in particular for her patience and support.

Is there anything we would change? Two things come to mind not to change, but to be mindful of. The first is time balance. Like anyone discovering a new world, the temptation is to over indulge at the expense of other priorities. We have been pretty good at balancing things lately, but just need to watch the temptation. No matter how good a given event or party may look, there is always the next one. The second is sexual balance. We often come back from parties or dates or events fully energized and have wonderful wild sex for days feeding off of that energy. We need to remember, however, not to get lost in the wild excitement and include quiet intimate love making. Again, we do a pretty good job of balancing things with this now, but it is something we need to be mindful of. There is something almost Zen-like in old relationship energy and intimate comfort sex, at least for us.

So, where are we going? Who knows? If you had told us we would be here two years ago, we would not have believed you. So, here are things that are working on, we will keep doing and things we want to explore:

–        Start

  • Visit Desire for the first time in 2014 on the Swingset trip and more visits in the years to come
  • Come out, at least to our kids
  • Branching out more to different local clubs, parties and other opportunities
  • Attending more meet and greets/munches

–        Continue

  • Attending our local Club on both kink and swing nights
  • Engaging folks and visiting clubs at our travel destinations where possible
  • Blog entries
  • Attending conferences and events such as the Fetish Flea Fest in Rhode Island and New Hampshire

–        Some day

  • BBB in Austin
  • Get out to the west coast and check out the scene there
  • Speak or present at a conference

It has been a wonderful journey and two years down the road, we intend to keep on keeping on.



Duncan lives with his wife the lovely Mrs. Duncan, 2.03 children, their dog and 2 cars in suburban southern New England. Distressingly vanilla on the outside and surprisingly spumoni underneath, the Duncan's are fairly new to the lifestyle and kinksters to boot. They are enjoying all the experiences and discoveries this adventure has to offer. Sharing his thoughts here, Duncan hopes to promote others' personal exploration by sharing his. Writing also helps process the experiences and acts as a personal pensive.

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