Combining Swinging and Polyamory


Combining Swinging and PolyamorySince Mr. D and I don't get to go out to lifestyle clubs more than once every few months, we used to really be very focused on trying to find a play opportunity during those visits. This weekend was the first time that we had gone to a club since we've been in a long-term polyamorous relationship (see previous blogs nightmare or ultimate fantasy) I was curious to notice how my goals in interest for the evening would be markedly different than they have been just a few months before.

For the first time that evening, I no longer viewed sex as the end game. I was getting plenty of that elsewhere. Being flirty and carefree and openly sexual was enough for me. No need to put pressure on the evening.

I'm someone who has always been attracted to most girls and just a few guys. Typically, to be honest, if the girl is hot and the guy is charming enough, I’d play. I didn't expect a solid gold in the looks department for the guy. That bar seems too high in most lifestyle situations.

For me, if Mr. Doubleplay wanted to fuck a pretty girl and I wanted to play with that pretty girl, that was good enough. And hopefully there would be a hard cock in the bargain for me. And if not, I would jump over and join Mr. Doubleplay and his girl.

I also was finding that I was being far more selective regarding who I was willing to approach or consider. I have a boyfriend of the highest quality waiting for me back in our hometown. I’m not going to settle anymore in a swinger situation.

I wasn't going to have patience for ‘good enough’ anymore.

I actually found myself returning to my roots of our earlier swinger days. I found that I was preferring what some podcasters calls the “booby game”—girls flirt and giggle on the dance floor together, pulling up their shirts to rub their breasts together. Often this happens in long chains of humping and kissing and giggling.

For a while in our lifestyle development, I had outgrown the booby game. Because it usually doesn't go anywhere. Lots of girls who engage in the booby game are fairly new to the lifestyle. For these women, this sort of dancing and caressing is incredibly hot, unexpected, and new to them. And a lot of these girls don’t really know what they want yet. They are just overwhelmed by the sensory experience of being in a club and getting to touch some ta tas. Fair enough.

We had progressed to thinking that those kind of activities were fun, but we are also looking for a more intense sexual experiences as well. Now that I had some guaranteed plans in the bank with an extremely sexy man, I was finding that I was missing my casual booby game time. I really enjoyed flirting with girls at the club while Mr. D watched and then heading back to the hotel just with him and having some great sex one-on-one with the two of us.

The” flirty flirty” on the dance floor and then reconnecting solely with Mr. Doubleplay in a highly sexual situation actually felt new again. And fun again. Perhaps we've come full circle.


Mrs. Doubleplay is 40-something mom living in the middle of America with kids, a career, and pretty house in the suburbs. She’s active in her local church, coaches the kids’ soccer games, and happens to have a secret life as a swinger. Married to her high school sweetheart, Mr. Doubleplay, the couple dipped their toes in the lifestyle for a couple of years but then dropped off the radar to have kids. They rejoined the lifestyle in 2005 and haven’t looked back. They have been soft swap from the start but are working their way toward greater forms of adventure as we meet hot couples on lifestyle vacations, swinger clubs, and online websites.

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