In The Butt…A Feeldoe Confession


A simple admission that will hold most men in contempt is that they enjoy butt-play. It's silly, as most scientists who acknowledge that the cluster of nerves known as the G-Spot in women is real, also acknowledge a striking similarity to the cluster of nerves that hang out with the male prostate. MEANING that similar stimulation produces similar results. I never fell into the trap of “it'll make me gay” when it came to butt play, so I'd been experimenting on a low level with fingers all along. None of my girlfriends, nor my eventual fiancee and wife had any real interest in pursuing the idea with me, so I didn't push it; but when on my own, I've had some enjoyable times with vibrators.

But not too terribly long ago, Marilyn finally acknowledged some interest in trying some anal stuff with me, so we worked up to it with some anal beads and a small toy or two. (By the way, for any men vaguelly curious but not looking for anything too surprising, get a set of the anal beads from Adam and Eve and go to town; a nice progression) Next was her glass dildo, which had a g-spot/p-spot (what some are now calling this cluster of nerves on the prostate) stimulation tip. Next was the strap-on.

Admittedly, we didn't have the highest quality harness, and the dildos were on the shoddy side, but this wasn't much of an enjoyable experience for either of us. The poor design of the harness made it difficult for her to do any real thrusting, combined with a bad attachment of the dildos. After this experience we both suggested maybe we'll stick with fingers for a while.

Then came the Feeldoe, an impulse buy after listening to the feeldoe review episode of Sex is Fun, mainly as something Marilyn could share with her girlfriends. (And does, read about it here!) When a week came and went with no girls to share it with, Marilyn began to get kinda antsy to try out her new toy.

So I suggested, well, it's gotta be better than the strap-on was. She eagerly went and brought it out and was naked before I could turn around. I'll say this, the silicone Feeldoe is a more solid toy than many strap-on dildos, so therefore there's not as much give or bend, which certainly limits the positions for (slightly) newbies to anal. Also, this is more difficult to attempt with a newbie top as well, as Marilyn tells me that holding the Feeldoe in is rather difficult until you learn to get that solid grip on it with your PC muscles.

Big thing to remember here also is, DO NOT USE SILICONE LUBE! Silicone lube can degrade silicone toys. Which is a shame, as we've both come to love the softness of silicone lube. But oh well.

So, big finish. The Feeldoe is a spectacularly smooth product that, with the appropriate amount of encouragement, is an excellent addition to your back door repertoire. It can also be boiled after use to completely sterilize it to be used in other orifices (or other people of course!)

Highly recommended.


About Cooper Cooper S. Beckett is the co-founder and host of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast since 2010, author of swinging & polyamory novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching The Swingularity, and memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory. He teaches and speaks on swinging, polyamory, pegging, play parties, and coloring outside the boundaries of your sexuality. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino’s radio show Sex Out Loud. He is currently working on two instructional non-fiction books, one about beginning non-monogamy, and another about pegging.


  1. I am not a newbie to anal play. Indeed, it is responsible for two of the three best orgasms I've ever had (#1 and #2, to be exact). Having discussed strapon play with Dawn many times over the years, the feeldoe eventually popped up in our conversations. The more reviews we listened to and read, the more intrigued we became. When we spotted the Feeldoe More on sale from Tantus at 50% off their list price the other day, we took it as an omen. We just had to jump on it!

    So now we are awaiting our present to ourselves. I doubt we'll be patient enough to wrap it up and put it under the tree and wait until Christmas morning. Maybe we'll put a bow on it or something.

  2. I have two things to say: use a harness with the Feeldoe, and put a condom on it so you can use silicone lube. It will be divine.

Leave A Reply