Hey sexies! Ginger here dying to help out a swinger or two with some advice. Prof and I have been there…and there and there. You get the idea. Here are some thoughts for this hottie swinger looking to let some playfriends down easy.
“If you have played with a couple once or twice, but then decided you are not interested in playing with them anymore for whatever reason, how do you let them know without offending them? There is a couple that we met during our first experience and they are nice people, have lots of great advice and they are very interested in us. We have decided we are not very interested in playing with them anymore. I know honesty is always the best policy, I just really do not want to hurt their feelings since we see them relatively regularly.”
Oooh, that is a tricky spot. How nice of you ask how to let them down easy as opposed to just choosing to ignore or redirect their overtures.
You are correct that honesty is the best policy. Direct communication before getting into any kind of date or play situation is important. I'm inferring from the question that staying Platonic friends would be desirable. Once you (and they) are in the Lifestyle long enough you will experience this evolution of some play relationships into Platonic relationships. It happens all the time and is just part of the Lifestyle experience. Upon the next proposition for a date, it is best for all involved for you to politely decline. Communicating clearly and simply that you appreciate them as friends and, of course, think they are fantastic, but you find that the chemistry just isn't there for you anymore is the classy move. If you can have this conversation in person, even better.
After being in the Lifestyle for some time, Prof and I have observed and experienced that direct, straight-forward communication leads to the most desirable outcomes. Although it is important to note that not every couple is appreciative of this type of communication. Some couples may end up feeling hurt or rejected, but if you have shared your feelings honestly and clearly it is up to them how they respond. Likely they will respect your honesty and wish to maintain the friendship.
Relationships run their courses…even swinger relationships. Changing feelings and dynamics are nothing for which you should apologize.
How about all you other hotties out there? How do you let former lovers down easy? What has worked for you? What has been the epic fail? We want to hear from you!
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1 Comment
Great advice! I would suggest a sample script:
“We really like you both and we want to stay friends with you. And I’m sorry, but we don’t want to have a sexual relationship with you any more – it’s not your fault, it’s nothing anyone did wrong, it’s just that our feelings have changed. But we hope to keep getting together with you in social situations, and we’re sure you can find other sexy couples to connect with.”