I Feel Happy and Safe: The Night Before Poly Xmas Part 2


Read part 1 here.

I thought that my first sentence to part 2 would say, “And we fucked like bunnies for 4 days.” But that would be like trying to sum up the first part of a romance novel in one sentence. And it would also not be a true.

I'll skip to the end and tell you the trip was amazing and we are feeling even more connected and excited about our relationship. And the “first kiss” wound up feeling much more like kissing a lover you haven't seen in a while. Familiar and delicious. This should have been the first indication that the trip may not mirror the erotica novel that we had been fantasizing about the last 4 months.

The thing that Todd and I find fascinating is that if we did live close to each other we would have probably messaged for a few weeks, met, fucked and then explored an emotional relationship…or not. But since we could not explore the physical part we put all our energy into the emotional part. Building a strong friendship that was infused with tons of sexy energy, occasional phone sex and lots of talk about things we wanted to do to each other.

It's not surprising (well it was at first) that we did not do ALL OF THE THINGS in our first time together. But we did do lots and lots of intimate things that did not make it into our sexy conversations. When you are trying to get someone off over the phone you don't say, “Oh baby, I can't wait to wake up in the morning and see you laying next to me.” You also don't say, “And then I will give you a scalp massage like you've never had before.” And you definitely stay away from, “You will hold my hand and wipe my tears, while I share about painful things in my past.”

Am I right?! Geez! This was not in the long-distance poly relationship handbook. The handbook I had said, “Text lots of sexy things, send naked photos, and then jump each other when you finally get to see each other.” As you may have guessed, I'm new to poly. My handbook was from the swinger side of SOP (swinger, open, poly).

So here are a few of the things we did that we did not sext about and that made the weekend emersive, intimate, romantic and fun:

  • We showered together, washing each other's backs and sexy bits
  • He held my hand in the middle of the night
  • We shared toothpaste and brushed our teeth together
  • We ordered room service and ate cross-legged in our bath robes
  • We layed in bed naked for hours talking and laughing (and touching)
  • We soaked in the jacuzzi tub, nestling our bodies perfectly & peacefully dosing off
  • We had a 3 hour breakfast at the hotel restaurant in front of the fireplace
  • He wiped my nose for me one night (instead of pointing and laughing)
  • We argued over who messed with the thermostat to make the room too hot
  • We slept naked and in the mornings we made out ignoring our bad breath, crazy hair and lines on our faces


And yes, we also gave each other many yummy orgasms! And it's all the other intimate, relationship-like stuff, that didn't make it into our sexting narrative, that filled up a surprising amount of our sexy time. At first we questioned it. Then we realized that this is a “real” relationship. Not a FWB, get together and fuck kinda deal. I even stayed 1 night at his house, where we spent time with Kerri having great convos and great meals. I told Kerri she is the World's Greatest Metamour (she agreed) and I thanked her for lending me her hubby for a few days!

We are playing the long game with this one. I'm shifting my “count down the days until I see Todd” mode to one where I live my life, enjoy my hubby, run my business, meet and fuck other people (as does he), all the while I'm aware of this nice song, that is our relationship, playing in the background. Occasionally, for a weekend, it moves to the foreground. And in the words of Todd, that song has us feeling “happy and safe.”


Daisy Wild is a CEO by day and a slut by night. Her hubby of 20+ years says she is the world’s greatest wing-man. Only two years in, they feel like they were born to be open. They enjoy the full spectrum from swapping to separate relationships and train all year long for the Olympic event of The Swingset Takesover Desire in November.

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