SS 270: Gang Bang The Mail Bag XXX

Welcome to Gang Bang The Mailbag TRIPLE X! That's right, this is our thirtieth listener mailbag episode, and we're recording tonight with a live (and muted) studio audience! As always, questions have been edited for content and clarity. If you have a question for a future listener mailbag, please give us a call at 573-557-9464 and leave us a message. Tonight, Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, Cooper and Dylan gang bang the mailbag!

As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast!

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Tonight we answer a voicemail question on how to maintain long distance play relationships, and the following written questions:

I'm a big fan of the podcast,of you as people and of all you're doing for people in the lifestyle. First of all I would like to say as a black man I appreciated the episode on Polyamorous as a Person of Colour, granted my experiences are a different as I am from a majority black country(Jamaica) so I swing with mostly black people.

Is being in fuck with someone a thing? Meaning you're not in love with them but you and them have a unique sexual chemistry. Is this a thing, can you be in love, just with having sex with someone?

I'm married to a great guy in a monogamous relationship. My fantasy has always been to have an MFM threesome. I finally found the courage to mention this to him a couple years ago, and he was cautious but excited about exploring; he could tell it really turned me on. The question has been who – we both want it to be someone we know well enough that we trust them, and I'm pretty picky. So we haven't really pursued it.

Well, we finally have someone in mind. Here's the thing: he's married. He and I originally met at burning man, and since then the four of us have all gotten to know each other. His wife is great. She jokes about his “girlfriends” and he implies they have some flexibility, but I'm not sure exactly what that means. When I asked him if they are poly, he said no, he doesn't like that term. So I don't really know if she'd be cool with it.

What is the protocol for trying to move things forward? I'd feel pretty comfortable asking the third if he'd be into it. I'd feel less comfortable asking his wife's “permission.” Whatever happens, I don't want to foul up our friendship. (FWIW we don't have an interest in swinging at the moment.) What would you do?

Oh, and assuming the third is into it, any tips for keeping things sexy and comfortable for us? My husband is a little nervous how he'll feel seeing his wife with another man!

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Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerBentham.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!