Pre-Event Anticipation


It is a quiet Saturday afternoon as I begin this post. The little Saids are spending the night at their grandparents' house, leaving Mrs. Said and me with a free night out. We have options: vanilla or swinging? Since we have great babysitter coverage due to some bartering we do, we get plenty of vanilla date nights. We're going to do something swing-related tonight. Yipee!

We have several options there. Mrs. Said's least favorite of our options is the local swinging club. Trying to pick someone up in a bar has never been a strong suit for either of us. Trying to pick up a compatible couple presents worse odds still. Besides, she doesn't get as much of a charge out of the voyeur/exhibitionist streak I seem to have. She is GGG, but I'd rather find something that really turns her crank. The swinging club is a bar/dance floor connected to a large room with a pool, hot tubs, private rooms, cabana beds, etc. I think the immediacy and availability of sexcursions cranks up the pressure Mrs. Said feels to find someone to play with. I don't feel that same pressure, but whatever. It doesn't work quite as well for her so it's something we won't do very often.

Another option is a meet-and-greet in the suburbs. We haven't gone to any events hosted by that group but the guest list we saw on SDC looks pretty good. The fact that it is in the suburbs creates a nice anonymity. Surprisingly, Mrs. Said is leaning towards another event hosted by another group closer to home. This event is in a private room at a bar, hosted by a “pretty people” group that goes to great lengths on their website to only encourage attractive, interesting folks. Their filter is clearly broken because we were approved for membership. We had better go there before they review their files and discover their mistake next week.

When I walk through the airport, I feel pretty good about how I measure up physically. Man, there are a lot of really tortured golf shirts holding back beer bellies out there! I am no flat-belly 25 year old, but I am within shouting distance of ‘good shape'. Mrs. Said is in better shape, but neither of us is going to be a fitness model. We both like good food and probably carry 5% more mass than ideal.

As I sit here getting up for the game, I am surprisingly nervous. I have a shy streak until I have known someone for a little while. Mrs. Said and I are both sit-back-and-observe people rather than center-of-attention people. We will see how that plays out in the swinging-socializing environment.

I tend to rank us as average in the looks department. But the Lifestyle is chock full of rather attractive folks. Scanning through the profiles on the swing dating websites, I think it's still a reasonable conclusion that we are in the middle of the bell curve. As one of my friends says, his t-shirt size is “extra medium”. I feel that way in the looks department.

I hope we measure up. But if we strike out, I'm still taking my hot sweetheart home at the end of the evening — and I have a good shot at getting some lovin.'


He Said and She Said (not their given names) are 40-somethings married for 20-something years living in a large Southern US city. Spurred into action by their landscaper's tales of consensual non-monogamy, they have enjoyed swinging - and blogging about it - since 2010.


  1. Horny Devils on

    We love this couple’s fun, down to earth style of communicating about their experiences. More please….

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