Up For Anything (Part 1)


Life gets busy when you’re … well you know the drill. Another year of poly and swinging and I find that I haven’t written anything here for nearly a year and haven’t checked my lifestyle specific email for about eight months. So after purging what is primarily spam or about events long since passed, I’ve decided to catch up on LOTSS. It’s interesting after several years in the lifestyle how little we actually use any of the websites or technology available to facilitate swinging anymore.  

I will occasionally login to the two major sites where I live to see if there are any fun events to attend. But perving profiles has grown tiresome. Far too few actually give you any real impression of what the people would be like. They say the same things over and over. I’ve even run across my own words literally verbatim cut and paste onto someone else’s profile. Seriously? I guess it’s flattery but people need to be original or at least ask permission if you are copying someone else’s prose. Of course, I’m told people also rip off pictures as well. And don’t get me started on couple’s profiles with no photos of the guy at all.  

Once in a while, I will look at swinging or poly stuff on FaceBook. The former is pretty much endless nudie pics which I don’t really get since the real thing is so much better. I can, however, check out the updates on the latest club to try to get going. Here’s to rooting for your success Pineapple Club. I’m fantasizing of you all in the Doo Dah parade handing out cans of pineapple tidbits next year.

After several years on the poly FaceBook pages, most of these can be summed up into repetitive general trends. Newbie unicorn hunters. Those giving newbie unicorn hunters a smack down on couple’s privilege. Judgmental my poly is the only true poly posts. The I’m poly but I’m not one of those disgusting swingers. I’m poly but it’s about love not sex. And super long posts airing the dirty laundry of exceedingly dysfunctional relationships where everyone involved appears to need extensive therapy and probably has no business being involved in relationships of any type until they get their own stuff in order posts.

On the plus for technology side, basic texting apps and calendar apps are a necessity. I swear by Cozi since it doubles as a grocery list and gift list but some swear by Google or others. Some other poly tools we’ve found to be essential are the family bulletin/wipeboard to coordinate time and clipboards to facilitate family quad meetings while we continue to work on communication.  

I think the main reason for the falling away from the technology is that we have settled into what is enjoyable for us and are no longer the kids in the candy store spree of debauchery. Not that an orgy or house party of playing with several different people isn’t fun. It’s just that after nearly four years of this that I’ve gotten more selective. I’m no longer willing to waste time on Palmer waxy crap chocolate or even just run of the mill Hershey when I’ve got three pieces of Godiva at home. You need to appear to be at least that good of a fit.

(Interestingly this essay turned out completely different than the title originally intended so I will leave this as part 1.)


Ms. Scarlet is a newbie non-monogamist. She lives in a really Red part of fly over country, hence the name Ms. Scarlet. She likes contact sports, massages, rum, fast cars, ice cream, and good oral sex - not necessarily in that order. You can find her discussing the latest sex news and other things on Twitter as @MsScarletBlogs


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