The Swingers Next Door


For newbies and many experienced people, the greatest fear of swinging is being found out by vanillas. That’s not surprising since it would subject one to at best judgment, possibly condemnation and potentially the loss of a job or even one’s children.  

The second biggest fear is running into someone you know. I know people who have run across their siblings and yes even parents in profiles, blocked them and run fleeing the other way without letting the other party know that they know. I know a person who ran into her cousin at a hotel takeover. Awkward. “Uh, hi cuz?!?”

I also know people who are out and totally fine with family or colleagues knowing. I even know a few who have played with their bosses or higher ups at a company though I can’t imagine doing that. Ok, I can fantasize about it during really boring meetings, but I don’t think I’d do it even if the opportunity presented itself.

I have yet to run into a family member. But recently I ran into something almost as awkward.  

Mr. Scarlet kept talking about this couple that he wanted to meet up with. I had no idea who they were but he kept telling me that we had met them before and would show me their profile and I was still convinced that I’d never met hem. Besides they lived in the same town he said so it would be convenient to meet up.

Ultimately we decided to get together for drinks.   

The couple starts talking about our neighborhood. Not our town. Our little neighborhood section of it. Ok, that is a little interesting. We don’t really know anyone here. Plus Mr. Scarlet said they lived nearby. Then they bring up some personal things. WTF??!? Who are these stalkers?

But, by this point, I am completely creeped out and not turned on at all. It’s not clear to me if these people are newbies or fakes or what.

Anyway, the evening comes to a close and the second I get home I’m googling them. Oh my god. They live next door. Not down the street or across the road but literally fifteen feet from our house. They apparently knew that we were next door neighbors so I’m actually still wondering how my husband originally met them. After the initial freak out, I have since gotten people I know to vouch for them.

Some swingers think that living next door to swingers would be awesome and super convenient. I’m not sure if I agree. It seems too prone to drama. I have enough of that in my life without swinging with the neighbors.


Ms. Scarlet is a newbie non-monogamist. She lives in a really Red part of fly over country, hence the name Ms. Scarlet. She likes contact sports, massages, rum, fast cars, ice cream, and good oral sex - not necessarily in that order. You can find her discussing the latest sex news and other things on Twitter as @MsScarletBlogs

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