The Art of Receiving a Sexy Photo


There's no wrong way to receive a sexy photo, right?

Unfortunately, that is incorrect. There's much talk about what rules you need to follow when sending sexy pics–Consent! Consent! Consent!–but there are also important aspects to keep in mind when someone sends you some sexy snaps.

Before I say anything else, I will mention the thing that shouldn't need to be said: keep all sexy photos someone sends you completely private unless they give you explicit permission to share them. Yes. Even if you break up and you're mad at them. Revenge porn is never okay.

Moving on.

Sending someone sexy pics is an extremely vulnerable act, even for an exhibitionist slut. When you send sexy photos you want the people on the receiving end of said pics to appreciate them in a way that leaves you feeling seen, sexy, and filled with warm feelings. You want your sexy self and your outfit or clever composition to be enthusiastically received and commented upon.

The following are some guidelines to help your sender feel good and want to continue to send you sexy photos.

Do: Be Enthusiastic! Even if you've seen their naked bod hundreds of times, act like it's the first time they've sent you a sexy pic. Obviously, you don't want to be ridiculous about it, but this is a case where you want to err on the side of more is more. Some examples of comments: “That's so fucking hot!” “Wow! Gorgeous!” “You have such an amazing ass!” “Ded!

Don't: Comment on things in the pic unrelated to the sexy person in the scene until AFTER you've raved about what a hottie your kind photo sender is. Sending a photo and receiving a comment like, “I love the colour of those curtains” as the only comment is extremely demoralizing and your photo friend might think twice about sending you something in the future.

If the pic was taken in an unexpected place you can comment on that piece once they know how much you appreciate using words you know resonate for them. “Wow! So sexy. And I can't believe how naughty you are sending me upskirt pics from the public library!

Do: Comment on what you might like to do to the person based on the photos. Someone sends you a photo where they're standing and their pussy looks particularly inviting? “I'd love to get on my knees right now and lick you until your legs give out.

Don't: Make sexual comments like this on the public (Twitter/Instagram etc.) sexy pics of strangers/acquaintances. You don't get to insert yourself into their sexual expression unless explicitly invited to do so. It's creepy. Having strangers tell me they want me to peg them based on my strap-on pics leads to immediate blocking of their accounts. It's okay with sexy friends you have an established intimate relationship with, but unfortunately, that can embolden creeps to think it's okay to do the same. The tips in this article are for pics sent directly to you.

Do: Respond enthusiastically when someone asks if you'd like them to send you a photo. The person sending wants to know that you're consenting in that specific moment and also wants to hear your desire for them. Respond as if you want nothing more in the world that moment. “Oooh! Yes, please!” “Fuck yes!”

Don't: Reply to a pic offer with telling them they've got blanket consent to send anytime. While it's good to know that you're always open, your sender wants your enthusiasm in that specific moment, not your “Whatevs.” If you want to make a comment that alludes to blanket consent but also help them feel like you're enthusiastic: “If I ever say no, assume I've been kidnapped and I'm signaling for help.” “Always!” Your sexy person does not want to hear, “I've said I'm always cool with it.

Do: Tell the sender if it's not a good time/day/location etc. to receive pics. Be honest and show enthusiasm for a later time. “I'm at my parents' place but I'll let you know when it's all clear. I can't wait to see!” “I'm having a shit day at work and I know I won't be able to appreciate it properly. Can you ask again tomorrow?” The slight rejection might sting but much less than if you say yes then give half-hearted or distracted response.

Don't: Say yes when someone asks you if you want a photo unless you're really feeling it. It feels terrible as a sender to get a meh response because someone doesn't say no when they're not into it or is too distracted in that moment.

Sending pics to partner(s) is one of the most fun aspects of having a photo studio in our pockets at any given moment. Putting a little extra effort into how you react to the photos your sexy people send you will ensure that they feel good about their choice to trust you with those vulnerable pics and will want to continue to fill your inbox with hotness.


Kat (she/they) is a sex-positive, geeky, Canadian, pansexual, deviant, slutty, feminist pervert who came to ethical non-monogamy 21-years into her relationship with her husband. After a quick toe-dip to test the waters (and hours of obsessive reading and podcast consumption), they dove in and they almost can't imagine they ever lived any other way. Labels never give a totally clear picture, but they consider themselves non-monogamous and polyamorous, though they occasionally swing. She's also a podcaster - On The Wet Coast Podast - and audiobook narrator for Cooper S Beckett's novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching the Swingularity. @WetcoastKat on Twitter. Their first book - Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut - is available on,, Inkterra, and Kobo.

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