First Date


A First DateI had been nervous all day.  Anytime I asked Anne if she was nervous, she said no.  Maybe that was because I had been the one primarily in contact with this first couple.  However, Anne changed her tune when we arrived at the restaurant/bar/bowling alley before them.  We sat at the bar and ordered drinks.  This time when I asked if Anne was nervous yet, she said yes.  I can positively say I am glad we got there early enough to have a drink before our dates arrived.  It helped.

When I was almost to the bottom of my pint of Fat Tire, my phone beeped at me with an IM informing me that they had arrived and telling me what they were wearing.  With Anne in tow, I proceeded to the doors to meet them.  It wasn’t hard to recognize them; after all, we had seen pictures of them.  We had a two hour wait to bowl, which was good because all of us needed dinner.  The wait at the in-house restaurant was thirty minutes.  So, we opted to eat at the bar.  My nervousness was almost immediately dispelled.  These two were Anne and my kind of people.  We had a lot in common with them.

The conversation started out with small talk, then quickly led to lifestyle questions.  They, knowing that we were new to this, asked questions about what was and was not OK with us.  To these we mostly answered, “Well, we think most everything is fine, at least in our heads.”  I can only imagine what the waitress thought.  She kept popping in at very amusing conversation times. I know she had to have heard us discussing blow jobs.

Before we knew it, dinner was eaten, drinks were drank, and it was time to bowl.  After losing at that, Anne and I decided that we didn’t yet want to end the date despite the fact that they beat us at bowling.  Our place was just five minutes up the road, but we couldn’t go there because of our roommate.  Our dates lived at least forty minutes away.  So, we came up with Plan B and headed to a nearby Steak ‘n Shake.  Once there, we continued to talk until they finally decided they should be heading out; after all, they did have a forty minute drive, and it was after midnight at this point.  We all hugged and said our goodbyes.

All in all, I call our first date an amazing success. There was no pressure, and we had a wonderful evening with some new people.  We definitely plan to see them again.  Where it will go from there… it doesn’t really matter.  I suspect, regardless of if we actually get to playing with this couple, we will become pretty good friends with them.


An average suburbanite barely into his 30s, Jack has recently begun a more exciting secret sexy life with his wife, Anne. These experiences have led him to preach the gospel of sex positivity and safer sex to anyone who will listen.


  1. I would certainly call that date a success. As long as you had a good time and ended the night smiling—and looking forward to next time—you have every right to be happy with what happened. I think this is one of the great benefits of dating as a couple. You are less worried about how the night will end (because you already have someone to play with), so you can really focus on getting to know the other couple to see if sparks fly.

    Dawn and I had a discussion the other night about the merits of newbie swingers being initiated into the lifestyle by either other newbies or experienced swingers. We almost instantly agreed that being courted by an experienced couple would be far more advantageous, with one caveat: a couple that has been around the block many times might have certain expectations that newbies wouldn't be able to meet. I'm happy that you discovered a couple who was eager to hear about your boundaries and was curious about your thoughts and feelings, rather than a couple who was intent on giving you a "whirlwind tour" of how hot and sexy the lifestyle can be. Being rushed into something is neither relaxing nor fun.

    Thanks for posting your great story!

  2. Luke and Alison on

    "I suspect, regardless of if we actually get to playing with this couple, we will become pretty good friends with them." – I'd love to read an article on the LotS team's thoughts on how that works. We've had amazingly hot relationships become strong friendships but lose some of the sexual spark, others where the emotional connection has evolved to become something poly and the sex get even bettter, some where our instinct was that these people could be very close friends, but the sex didn't quite work and because we'd met in that arena, things didn't progress and we ended up feeling that by having a sexual agenda the opportunity for a vanilla friendship was lost. Do tell us how this has worked for you. xx

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