A New Flavor of Vanilla

Being Vanilla In The Swinging Lifestyle
photo by stevendepolo

As much as I wonder where the line is of going full swap, I wonder about this question too in the opposite direction as well. What is the line in vanilla settings? I no longer have any idea.

I live in a small college town. People talk. Everyone knows each other. I have to be VERY careful if I don’t want my swinger life known. We try to not play with couples in a 20 mile radius (although our defenses are breaking down when we are horny and we can’t drive do a distant club).

I am guessing that my ‘vanilla’ friends think I’m a prude, which is hilarious to me. I am so self-conscious about not revealing our secrets that anything risqué makes me nervous among vanilla people. And the littlest things freak people out! At a friend’s birthday party at a local bar, the Jagermeister girls came in and handed out free promotional key chains, lanyards, and… thongs. I talked my 40th birthday friend into putting on one of those thongs over her jeans and I did the same. And we shook our booties about a bit, but didn’t even bump and grind. We were just silly, I thought. Very tame, right? Well, a work colleague mentioned it to me Monday morning. Yes, word travels fast in this town.

So needless to say, I hesitate to bump and grind with friends on the dance floor. When we go to a dancing club in town, we see the college-aged hotties bumping and grinding in ways that would fit right in at our local swinger club. I hold back. I might not be able to help myself and grab someone’s tits. Or reach back and rub a cock. Clearly on the dance floor, I can rub my ass in to someone’s cock until it’s hard. But is it that I need to keep just my hands to myself?

Maybe I need to just relax and enjoy the fun I can have in a vanilla world. Last month, we made plans to meet a ‘unicorn’ (a single gal interested in swinging) a vanilla dance club. I got it on with her on the dance floor as I would in a swinger’s club. NO ONE blinked an eye. There was just as wild girl on girl bumping and grinding all around us. And when my husband joined in and formed all varieties of 3 some sandwiches on the dance floor, we were just one of many such threesomes. Perhaps the difference is that the fun stops there on the dance floor for most—but not all.

At the local burrito joint the other day, I heard two guys openly bragging about their threesomes as they ordered their quesadillas. Is swinging a part of college life now? Damn, maybe I was born in the wrong generation.


Mrs. Doubleplay is 40-something mom living in the middle of America with kids, a career, and pretty house in the suburbs. She’s active in her local church, coaches the kids’ soccer games, and happens to have a secret life as a swinger. Married to her high school sweetheart, Mr. Doubleplay, the couple dipped their toes in the lifestyle for a couple of years but then dropped off the radar to have kids. They rejoined the lifestyle in 2005 and haven’t looked back. They have been soft swap from the start but are working their way toward greater forms of adventure as we meet hot couples on lifestyle vacations, swinger clubs, and online websites.

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