We Crossed The Line – Soft Swap Swingers Go Full Swap


In our five years in the lifestyle, Mr. Doubleplay and I have drawn a firm line in the sand regarding our swinging rules. We are a soft swap couple, which means for us that we are very naughty and engage in every sort of fun EXCEPT swapping partners for intercourse. About a year ago that line started to blur, but only in our fantasies. During bedroom dirty talk, we discussed couples we have played with in the past and what we would like to do in the future.

Our perceptions of the lifestyle also been greatly influenced by Swingercast–a hot podcast by a couple in the lifestyle. We started listening to the podcast right when we were getting back into the lifestyle after a long hiatus (otherwise known as having babies). We would listen to John and Ally on the show as we drove to clubs and we would end up all hot and bothered by the time we walked in the door.

John and Ally reinforced for us the choices we we're making. Their choices were very similar to ours, including the firm “no hard swap” rule. By some twist of fate, they seemed to start stretching their boundaries when we started our hard-swap dirty talk in the bedroom. All of a sudden, in one podcast episode, John and Ally were full swapping, and mentioned off hand that it wasn't their first time.

“What!?!” Mr. D and I exclaimed. We were on a flight to New Orleans, listening to the podcast together. Our exclamation caused quite a stir around us.How could they cross such a line and not podcast about this? Such a huge leap! Such a big line!

The funny thing is, Mr. D and I just crossed that line last weekend—we had our first full swap experience with another couple. And remarkably, I don't have all that much to say myself. It was an amazingly sexy time. We found a couple with whom all 4 of us clicked and we went for it. It felt natural and awesome. But not like such a big hurdle after all. Instead it just felt right–the fun choice. Not weird at all and super hot.

I guess the lesson for us is that if it is right, it's right. And when it is then it is time to go for it. This step was huge for us, five years in the making. We had been open to this decision for a few months now, and had been dirty talking about it in our own playtime for over a year. It is complicated though, at least for us, finding a couple in which all of the relationships worked well—I liked the guy, he liked the gal, the gals liked each other.

And we finally found THAT couple. (and we have found others since then!).Since then we have played with couples with a range of boundaries. Girl-girl play is still always a treat, although I think I'm growing partial to the cock these days–especially with lots of foreplay and readings can happen with both the girl and the guy.

In the end, it really depends on our chemistry with the couples. A hot time is a hot time.


Mrs. Doubleplay is 40-something mom living in the middle of America with kids, a career, and pretty house in the suburbs. She’s active in her local church, coaches the kids’ soccer games, and happens to have a secret life as a swinger. Married to her high school sweetheart, Mr. Doubleplay, the couple dipped their toes in the lifestyle for a couple of years but then dropped off the radar to have kids. They rejoined the lifestyle in 2005 and haven’t looked back. They have been soft swap from the start but are working their way toward greater forms of adventure as we meet hot couples on lifestyle vacations, swinger clubs, and online websites.


    • Interesting that you don’t seem to remember all the sexually immoral people in the bible…and not just the heathen sinners. What are you doing on a swinger website if you find such acts immoral?

    • Great comment. Which is more immoral: joining your mate for consensual sexual pleasure with another couple or getting your jollies by living vicariously through people who are doing that?

      And more to the point, Mrs. Doubleplay, Mrs. Said and I had the exact same reaction after our first full swap experience. It was thrilling, exciting, erotic, fun… But at the end of the day it didn’t seem like the large step I was making it out to be in my mind.

      Welcome to the really dark side. 😉

  1. This sounds so AWESOME–that it turned out not to be a ‘big deal’, just so natural. We are still lifestyle “virgins” but hope to find an experience as described such that at the end of the night, we can all look at each other without regret and know that we have just experienced something special.

  2. Know of any true, real, soft couples sites where we can actually meet people and get together and have good sexual play without swapping for intercourse? Sick and tired of sdc and its people. I know trying to convince my partner that there MUST be some people like us, professionals, clean, nice status, that have the same interests but am running out of excuses!

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