I've learned a lot about myself since February when the Softies began their lives as swingers. The changes in me have been gradual, but I can safely say that I would never go back to who I thought I was before.
Initially, I planned to just give girls a try. It isn't that I've never thought of women sexually before, I just hadn't given it much thought. I've always thought girls were pretty and the female body was attractive. So, I thought, let's see what happens.When we filled out our on-line profile I labeled myself “bi-curious”. What does that mean? Exactly what it sounds like. I had no idea where my interest in women lie, but I was curious to find out. I'd always been able to have conversations with Mr. Softy about celebrities and cute girls on the street. But, I was speaking purely from an objective point of view. It's not like I was lusting after women on the bus or anything. I just found women to be attractive.
Enter Miami Velvet and our first group sex experience. Most of our time spent in the orgy room was with one particular lady and her mister. She had big fake boobs, even bigger hair, and a stubbly undercarriage. Maybe she hadn't planned on an orgy that day, because she could have used a quick shave! However, she and her tattooed partner were very nice and treated Mr. Softy and I well. We played for a while and I was able to experiment quite a bit. It was an interesting learning experience. I had a good time, but would have enjoyed it more had the Mrs. been a little more in to it. I could tell she was having a fine and dandy time, but there was little, to no, feed back about what she liked or wanted. No moaning, no grabbing, no smiling, no outward signs of pleasure except the bare minimum. It was more like she was going through the motions. I could be biased on this point. When I have sex, I let everyone around me know how much I'm enjoying it. I blush when passing our neighbors in the hallway. But, just a little bit of moaning would have let me know I was doing something she liked! Nevertheless, my first girl-on-girl experience was enough for me to know that I wasn't just curious. I enjoyed playing with women. How much? I wasn't quite sure yet…
Little did I know that I would soon discover an incredibly sexual side of me that I never knew was there! After a few dates, I finally had another, much more intimate experience playing with another girl. After our first date was a success, Mr. and Mrs. Kennedy invited us over. We had dinner and snuggled up on the couch to watch a movie. Neither we nor the Kennedies had done this before, so we were a little slow to get started. But when we did we all had a great time. It is a much different experience having sex with someone who you know and like instead of a total stranger. Even though we had just met them the week before, we were already light years ahead of the random couple in an orgy room. Mrs. Kennedy and I were each exploring our sexuality and it was a lot of fun!
I quickly upgraded my label to “bi-comfortable”. That one was a little tougher to describe. I knew I liked having sex with women, but wasn't quite sure where I fell on the spectrum. Then, I had my first orgasm with someone besides Mr. Softy. While the men were asleep, Mrs. Kennedy and I took advantage of our time alone. This was my first ever one-one-one sexual experience without the Mr. around. (Although he was asleep just a few feet away.) I know this may not seem like a big deal to those of you in swingerland, but it was for me. It was especially significant that my orgasm was with another woman. Everything that we did seemed much different from with a man. Kissing, touching, everything was softer, slower, more sensual. I liked it. A lot.
It was clear that I was bisexual.
At first, I struggled slightly with this label. Really, I'm bisexual? But I've begun to embrace my sexuality. Mr. Softy has taken to it quite well too. We love pointing attractive women out to each other and lately I've begun to fantasize more and more about women. It is amazing to me how much I didn't know about myself. Who knows? Maybe there's even more waiting to be discovered!