We've all heard the coined phrase seen in many swinger profiles, many of us have encountered it and even some have experienced first hand the concept of taking one for the team in the swinging community. But, what exactly does this mean?
It's my experience that taking one for the team can be a proper descriptive in many instances, and in all of these instances I don't believe that anyone should have to succumb to actually experiencing it.
The obvious and most common scenario is most definitely when one half of a couple is attracted to the other couple but the other half is not. This could be in any combination depending on the sexual orientation of the players. And obviously, depending on the level of relationship you allow yourselves to have with other couples this could be purely sexual attraction but it could also extend outwards to physical, mental, or emotional attraction.
For instance, in my relationship with my husband, it is most likely that I am the one to encounter the taking one for the team moment where I put on the brakes and say no, this isn't going to happen. And, I've done it for various reasons including all I've mentioned thus far. Being a bisexual woman, I have found that it's the man of a couple that causes me to experience this most often. In fact, I've never had this moment with another woman. Perhaps that can be attributed to the fact that I'm in a hetero marriage and sex with women is still somewhat new for me.
In looking back at our previous experiences I'd say that sexual/physical attraction is important, but if the physical attraction in lacking, then mental attraction can take up the slack. In my mind, it's almost an inverse relationship to one another… I can be less attracted to you physically the more you attract me mentally, and I'm perfectly okay with that. On the other hand, if I find no attraction physically or mentally, it's a dead deal.
What about when you're definitely attracted in some way, shape or form but the partner lacks in the anatomy department… too small of a dick, too loose of a pussy, lack of erection, etc? Oftentimes, when things have gotten to the bedroom it can be difficult to turn back. Fortunately, the husband and I operate on a mutual satisfaction agreement, so if we get to the bedroom and things aren't working out we end up working our way back to one another to salvage the experience. For us, once the clothes are off, its body language and eye contact that allows us to work through issues and make sure that both parties are still enjoying the experience. Suffice it to say, that this scenario has occurred more than I'd like to admit.
Perhaps it's just bad timing?