In The Interest of Knowing – Introduction to a BDSM Switch


A BDSM SwitchWhen many of you read my blog, you may ask yourself, “Who is this person with the big ideas and the obviously fake name?” Perhaps a simple explanation of my BDSM lifestyle experience will help you a bit. It maybe relative to some of you, and it may not. That's okay. It will not change who I am if you are not, and it will not serve as validation for me if you are. It is what it is. These are the things I have done. (Forgive me father for I have sinned?)

Technically, I am a switch. That is I can manage from both ends of the flogger. More specifically, I enjoy being the submissive almost as much as I enjoy being dominant.  I have been active in this lifestyle for several years, I hesitate to state how many, my age is a defining mystery about me that I cling to desperately. I am not a masochist, I do not like pain, but I am sadistic. I do not like control, I like to be controlled. These contradictions offer a different outlook, as you will see, and manifest into my switchy self.  As we move along, I will explain these things more in-depth, I promise, but in the interest of time, I am keeping this to a more advanced level of thinking.

When I started out I had only a passing interest in the lifestyle, nothing more than what you would call a curiosity really. I trained with an older woman, a female dominant, for a few years and eventually moved out into the world to find a dominant or switch of my own.

I have experienced a broad spectrum of things. I have had submissive pets of my own (both male and female). I have been a collared submissive (I mourn that daily), and I have been nothing more than a shadowy figure watching the comings and goings of the people within this dark and leathery world that I love so dearly.

None of this makes me an expert, no one person is the end-all, be-all of BDSM. It is not my goal to be an expert. It is my goal to help people find their way through the twists an turns. It is my intention to give people a playful insight to  how BDSM and poly homes tie in together in such a unique manner that they should almost have their own definition. The insane thing to me is that the two almost always view each other as freaks, or on opposing teams somehow! What!? Are you kidding me? No. They are like peanut butter and jelly.

But I digress….

As we travel along, I am going to tell you of these experiences. It is my sincere hope that you walk away feeling somehow better about the choices you  make in regards to this lifestyle, that you feel educated, and most importantly, that you feel inspired and empowered. This is your life, this is your sexuality, this is about you and what you want and need as the animal being that you are. Take hold of that and be at peace with it. It is what it is.

During our journey, you may want to stop and ask a question. Please feel free to do so. If  I understand the profile correctly, you should be able to view my e-mail,  and I encourage you to use it. I look forward to questions, hate mail, or words of wisdom that may offer a new outlook or perspective. I welcome it, just as I welcome you…to Bedlam.


Southern grown, Eastern Seaboard born, I am a crafter of words, painter of minds, and seductive succubus. Hell bound, sarcasm bent, cool, confident and super ninja awesome.


  1. Opendiscussions on

    Ms. Doe,

    I find your latest entry quite interesting. I have heard the common belief that all humans are indeed a switch, it simply matters to what level they are comfortable expressing themselves. Personally I am uncertain. I would like to think that even if a person did not “feel” the need to explore the Dominant or submissive side of themselves, that there would be mountains of insight and perspective to gain, were they to honestly do so.

    Thank you for your perspective. I look forward to your next entry.


    • Jack, 

       Thank you for your compliments, as always you are a staunch companion on this journey, and I appreciate that. 

       It is true that we all have the ability to switch, when the time comes and we feel the need to do so. Different areas of our life make it so that we have to be versatile in our “defining” roles. Many times, this comes from a have to and not a want to situation.


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