Open Discussions – From Swinging to Polyamory


Open Discussions - From Swinging to PolyamoryWhere do I begin?

Perhaps some background. My name is Jack. I am a thirty-four year old professional in the corporate world. I get up before the sun and accomplish more in the morning than many people do all day. I have a mortgage and car payments. I am a married father of three. I juggle my work, wife, children, doctors appointments, sporting events and a bowling league. By all outward appearances I am a very straight-laced, ordinary citizen, and I am a polyamorous swinger. My wife and I have had an open relationship for two years that allows “full-swap,” “separate-rooms,” and even “permission-slip/hall pass” sex. Yep, we pretty much do it all.

I have been with my beautiful wife Ally for eighteen of our thirty-four years. She is way out of my league and I am reminded daily just how wonderful and fantastic of a woman she is. I am humbled by her grace, and in awe of her beauty and her patience with our children.

As we have grown as a couple and individuals, we have entered into the world of polyamory. Ally is bisexual. We were both very secure with ourselves and our relationship, so after much discussion we decided to open our marriage.

Some very close friends of ours have an open relationship as well, and there has always been sexual tension between the four of us. The misses in that relationship is bisexual, and the chemistry is great! So, Ally and I planned a weekend without children, invited them over, and after many glasses of wine engaged them in a very frank discussion about sexuality. As it turns out, they had always been interested in us sexually, but did not consider it an option. Once we had that out-of-the-way, the rest is history. A sordid and hedonistic history, but I digress.

When we started this, we thought we had it all figured out. We thought we knew just what we wanted out of it and what to expect. We were wrong. We thought that we were going to explore Ally's bisexuality. The question was how? We have not been in the “dating scene” for years. The bar scene did not make sense for us either. But no matter what we thought, random encounters with women we hardly knew was most likely the way to go. However, that did not sit well with either of us. Sex has always been an emotionally involved affair and it did not seem right to remove all emotion and callously just grind it out. Fortunately, we had understanding and compassionate like-minded friends that we already cared a great deal for to help us through this process.

We have since moved on to share our lives with several other steady partners, a couple of  “single night encounters,” as well as our favorite couple. Ally currently has two secondary relationships (one man and one woman) and I have two with women. We have found that our primary relationship – which was already great – continues to blossom and grow. The depth of our emotion and trust is unparalleled. Polyamory has strengthened our bond as a couple and increased the depth of emotion that we feel for others. Learning to love other people has been the most progressive step that we have taken as individuals. We are charging headlong into the rest of our lives, hand-in-hand, and never looking back.


Jack is a thirty-something year old business professional from middle America. Jack spends his time balancing work, his beautiful wife Ally, three kids, his two girlfriends, Ally's girlfriend, and Ally's boyfriend. Life is grand.

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